My ComedyOpenMic Prize of 1 SBD Acceptance Speech
1 SBD! And it's all mine!
Oh Glorious Day!
People actually like me!
While I was busy writing that day, I had no idea my little story would be the match that lights the fuel which propelled this rocket known as me, all the way to the stars.
I've had big dreams and high hopes of becoming a true somebody since I was just a little boy.
After hitting the bottle hard in my twenties and eventually becoming a homeless slob in my thirties, I thought the dream was over and no amount of meth would bring it back.
Then I tried to sell crack and everything changed!
I woke up rich and famous! Just like that!
Today started out like most days.
I woke up, walked to the toilet, pissed all over the wall, realized I had morning wood, kept going because it burns when you stop, then cleaned it up as I thought about baseball and power tools to help alleviate the tension as I shooed the cat away because for some strange reason he wanted to help clean up. Silly kitty thinks urine is milk. I think I need to get my pussy checked.
Next was coffee. I love coffee so much and it's lucky I calmed myself because the temptation to stick my cock in a cup and fuck the shit out of it is very real and hard to resist.
Unfortunately, the refrigerator was out of milk and that's when I realized the kitty was trying to tell me something so I grabbed a beer and drank that instead because black coffee is undrinkable.
I had four more beers within an hour and then napped until noon because for some strange reason, beer is the opposite of coffee.
After cleaning up the wall again and thinking it was already Sunday, I decided to turn on my computer to find out the truth.
A few notifications popped up. Apparently I had been mentioned again here on Steemit so I quickly accessed these posts so I could see what these assholes were saying about me this time.
Low and Behold!
Winner winner chicken dinner people's choice champion of the century! Me!
I jizzed in my pants, instantly.
Then when I found out I actually won a prize worth an astounding 1 SBD, I came twice!
Wow! I'm still twitching just thinking about it.
Best day ever! I love you people long time!
I suck at acceptance speeches though!
So how about I give you folks a free plug?
Seriously, I love what you folks in the #comedyopenmic community are doing. I graciously accept your prize and will put it towards the 20 SBD I'm sending(sent) your way today as yet another donation towards your prize pool. Keep the ball rolling! Offering prizes on top of the free votes people might see just for contributing to the community is genius and I look forward to seeing this group thrive.
I also encourage you readers out there to vote for @comedyopenmic as witness. What they stand for is golden and I'd love to see what I personally consider to be an underground movement hit one of the top 50 witness slots.
Anyway!
This is what I did with my life today.
I hope you've enjoyed this mess. I truly have no idea what I'm doing, but I did it anyway.
Have a nice day!
sometimes it takes something positive like winning SBD to pull a person out of the mess and move forward. You have a story from it and listeners here to read it. Thanks my friend.
my clit got so sore from the ache of the hard-on, and when i relented and just gave it the 2 fingers.....i squirted with all the throbbing and glory.....you're corrupting all of us NN!
you're terribly bizzare, absurd, yet comical man.....thank you for
arousing...ahem i mean amusing me!People think I'm nuts so I show them my guts.
Man, I can so relate to everything that you say.
When I was cleaning the bathroom wall this morning, I couldn't remember if it was from cumming or going.
I only started doing comedy skits as another avenue to get noticed by a Calvin Klein scout, but with incentives such as this, maybe there are more options available to me than i realised.
Keep up the good work :)
Peace.
I'm just happy I found a way to be able to upgrade my cat treats.
Dude! Congrats on...well, yeah, the award is what I mean, not on...never mind My brain is frying in the desert sun. I don't even need beer to be completely bonkers right now. Maybe once I hit the redwoods, then beer again :)
I hope you're having fun out there. Try the peyote if you get a chance! I'm just pissing around today. Seems to be quiet around here so I'm sitting in some Saskatchewan sun, half freakin cut, again! LOL
Fabulous acceptance speech! @comedyopenmic makes you want to do things for them.... I’ve said this before, it’s run by dark magic. But why have I not seen you in Carl gnash’s special room? I think jizzing in pants is a speciality of sorts there....
Congrats on the winning 1 SBD from COM. I’ve resteemed because that makes you a steem celebrity and champion to the funny people of Steemit. ❤️
At least now, when people ask me about my crusty pants, I can give them the truth and be proud of myself. This changes everything.
Hehe.... I promise not to look down and stare at your crusty pants.
I’m hoping you’ll find the time in your busy writing schedule to thrill us some more with your brand of funny for Round 17. Think about the compounded fame? Another week, another 1SBD if you blow us all away!! Who needs to write a bestseller, when you have that earning potential and ‘real’ fame.
You’re right, it does change everything...Your time is probably best spent finding something to jizz over... ;)
I thought about your suggestion for the past few hours and came to a conclusion, if you know what I mean.
I can only hope you share your exciting experience with us in a COM Round 17 entry...
lol ... buy some detergent with the SBD!
I'm allergic to bubbles.
I got a boner when your 20SBD flew into the @comedyopenmic account and jizzed thrice on seeing you tell peeps to vote them for witness. This day is just messy.
It's getting all over the floor!
you boys are making COM too sticky!
They told me to get a grip. Thought this would help.
COM makes us CUM , they go hand in hand :O
Congratulations @nonameslfttouse. We are moved to bones by your acceptance piece and generosity.
Thank you for your support.
I hope your kitty is well.
The pisslicker is alive and well!
Sometimes, money is the only tool for engagement in society & @comedyopenmic is the bomb but trust me no one really knows what there doing ever anyway, competitions, contests it’s almost like we are just begging to lose them, but you won and that’s the duality of life see
I honestly don't even remember entering. Just wrote a funny page and used the tag. I've been trying to help out when I can since their inception. Today was no different. People are attracted to that big boner image so I thought I'd just do some free advertising for them since it was Saturday and that means it can be slow around here, so doing something like this might stand out.
Steemit is the same as anywhere in the world. And remember kids,
S E X. S E L L S.
Are you sure you're canadian?
I assume other canadians point at your house and say "There lives the guy who swears like a sailor who had water for the first time."
Yeah. Canadian. And if those bastards point at my house again, I'll feed their fingers to my beaver.
yours or girlfriend's?
Mine. It's sick of eating wood.
Remember that time I told you that sometimes you go too far for me... Well I do. :)
haha.
I don't know about supporting anything Golden after reading this. Off to scrub my imagination. There is something wrong with you. I think you know that.
Anyways, just bye.
I remember it well! Counselling starts Monday!
Yeah, I'll see ya tomorrow. :)
LOL!