The most greatest collage ever conceived

My favorite ad from Craigslist. On April 14th, 2017 I was perusing the free section of the CharlottesvilleVa Craigslist page and I stumbled across this gem, an ode to the band Linkin Park and to baby safety. Alas that a busy schedule prevented my ever seeing this masterpiece.

I tried. I tried so hard, Craigslist.

I cried. I cried so hard, Craigslist.

I went over to my buddy's house last week and we started reading all these stories about babies falling out of windows and then we started reading all these labels on windows and window screens about how 'OPEN WINDOWS CAN BE HAZARDOUS' and 'Insect screens will not stop children from falling out of windows' and I thought, 'I've gotta do something to help these babies!'

They're in real trouble. So my friend, M-Dawg, and I and her dog, Otis, started building a collage that would be so wonderful and protective that no babies would want to fall out of windows. We put everything babies like on this collage:

-babies
-Mrs. Obama
-the color blue
-a horse with a human arm for a horn
-helicopters
-the third eye chakra
-powerful phrases of self-actualization
-brunch
-men with big full lips
-women with power chairs
-cherished wooden ducks

It was the most greatest collage ever conceived by human hands and dog hands. But, alas, it is never ever enough. After displaying the collage prominently in M-Dawg's window that faces an abandoned section of woods, miles away from any other human beings, it was only a few minutes before our Google Alerts went off and we had to read another story about a baby falling out of a window. The insect screen didn't even begin to stop that baby from falling and I feel, worst of all, that our collage did even less.

Now I am ACTUALLY (YES THIS IS REAL) giving this collage away to someone who would like to enjoy its awesomeness. For me and M-Dawg and Otis though it's just a symbol of how we tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn't even matter.

#linkinpark #numetalforever #hybridtheorywasonlythebeginning #ThisIsReal