Guest Post: Spider Whisperer

This morning I have a guest post from ya boi @sobrietystuntin. If you like this post, be sure to drop him a follow and toss him some likes.

Every time I clear crickets and spiders out of my house with a cup and paper I always feel guilty. Almost like back in the day when i used to throw parties how I'd feel kicking a group of homies out whove stayed way too long but it's too late for them to get a ride home so they try to guilt me into letting them stay the night. I feel like the silent dialogue between us is like this:

Me: Ay spiders I see u doin your thing clearing all the mosquitoes and ants out the house but it's time to go this is getting outta hand with the webs

Spiders: nah bro it's cool lemme just stay the night and I'll cool out with the webs I promise.

Me: nah yo this is a human spot I feel u that you gotta have a place to stay but I gotta keep the spot clean.

Spiders: c'mon man look at all the mosquitoes I trapped in this web for you. I did that for US man.

Me: I feel that but I gotta be real man it's getting late and I gotta put y'all outside and sweep up these webs

Spiders: ok bro I see how it is. I'm not mad I get it. But can you at least not squash me to death and like put me and all my spider homies outside in a cooler more dank and dismal and spidery corner so we can kick it for a while?

Me: got you

Spiders: bet