Dear Diary: Did Cryptopie Romantically Have Loved Someone Before?

It is strange that I did had a crush on someone before, I could equate it now as a romantic love because I did not only had a physical attraction but also a much deeper feeling that I call of feeling in-love.

So at valentine's day I thought that it was normal to make a love letter post card and give it to that apple of my eye, in those younger years of me during my primary school year of grade 4. My teacher saw that instance and told my mother about it. Then after that I never did it again as I realized that it was inappropriate and embarrassing as well.

Then that childhood crush of mine cut her hair short which I didn't liked so my attraction had faded. After going to elementary school in another school I forgot about her already. Now she got married to my neighbor because they have the same religious beliefs.

In the middle school I only discovered the new apple of my eye in the third year. The same physical attraction just like when I was still a small boy. I only had a few seconds of interacting with that second apple of my eye after my two friends had set us up at the back of our high school stage.

I forgot what I had told her at that moment but she said that she was reviewing and that she has to go. That was the first and the last communication that we had but I am glad that I haven't took her for something like a girlfriend or a wife even because as I had saw her again after many years she had changed and my feelings that they call "Crazy little thing called love" went to zero.

I actually never had any girlfriend before, it is because of my brewing medical issue that is already affecting my emotional as well as my physical condition. The anxiety and my belief that I am unattractive to the opposite sex made me so reserved that I told myself to just make the nest first before laying eggs on it.

It just means to settle myself to be fit financially and with a good physical and mental health before pursuing romance. But I never had gotten fit in at least one major factor which is my health so I have to forget about romance and listed it as one of my frustrations in life.