Dear Diary: I Am Already Full And Cannot Eat Anymore Prior To My Dialysis Today

What is hard for a dialysis patient like me with a dialysis schedule of only twice a week is that I get full with water and toxins which makes me lose my appetite even more prior for my dialysis. So before dialysis I cannot eat anymore because even the foods that I eat drown me as if I was drinking water.

I am just thankful to God that my lungs don't get filled with fluids and is always drawn out with water after dialysis while in some patients they just die because of that issue because they rely on the nurse's decisions.

I remember the times that I cheat on my pre-dialysis weight when the nurse still trusted me about my weight as I will tell them that I weigh heavier than I was prior to dialysis when in fact I just want them to take more water and it works especially in the time that I have fluids in my lungs and I was coughing and after dialysis my coughing is gone because dialysis took it away.

It is the reason that maybe I was still alive today that I am not relying on the nurse's calculated decisions and opinions, afterall their profession is not an exact science to trust with. So I just know my own body and what it needs and I will do what I can just to save myself in that regard.

I hope soon that I will get a better dialysis and more frequent dialysis for that matter or change the type to peritoneal dialysis so that I won't get the trouble of preparing to go and travel which doesn't do me any good because of the stresses it makes to my body.