Dear Diary: I Am Still Worried About My Mouth Changes

I remember the years that my face had started to change exponentially, there was a sensation of pressure in my mouth area until my mouth had started to gape open when I sleep so I would use a surgical tape to close it up so my drool won't get out until my mouth was so widely gaping that I gave-up the tape and from that moment on I slept with my mouth open, it was terrible.

At that point I didn't know what hit me and what was happening to my body. Well at first I saw some bulge on my gums at the back of the tongue, then it grew and grew until it came to a point like in my current appearance is like.

My appearance is the least of my concern now because I could always hide in a mask although it gives me some level of problems that also affects me but what worries me most is that my Leonliasis condition is seemingly creeping up on me because it is still growing.

It is my real and present fear so my only solution is to medicate it with a very strong drug, my Cinacalcet which gives me a different type of misery, nausea and appetite loss which I do not deserve because it makes my life harder in many ways.

Source
My Fear Is Reality, It Is Within Me

But still I hope that my Leontiasis would stop, I am worried that it will make my face grow in a much grotesque way than it is now so I do not know if I would ever cope if that happens, I still needed all the prayers in the world.

My mouth is still changing because its features are different than in the past months considering that I have a good change in my pain issues in my body due to my medicine which is also a medicine for Leontiasis. It is just pointless really to live like this because it is as hard as ever but I do have to continue to fight because it is the right thing to do although I know that most people around me had already given-up on me. May God have mercy on me.