Dear Diary: I Finished Dialysis Today Satisfactorily

It is just how I put it when just a few minutes left then I have to request to cut my session off because I could not endure it anymore. It feels funny when your blood pressure gets too low and you feel very restless with pains on the legs, numbness in an arm or two, and pain in the neck and chest area not to mention the classic black-outing with your eyesight.

But what I can't endure really was the near black-out where you cannot fight it really because you are the near shock levels and with that situation you just have to give up and request for the termination otherwise if your heart is weak you can get a heart attack or worse.

The lowering of my blood pressure actually is a good sign that my blood is getting the clean it needs because if you will not feel anything while being dialyzed it just means that you are not getting a satisfactory clean since the dialysis is taking extra fluids, salt, sugar, and other protein compounds along with the toxins that it should take out and all that can really push down if not normalize your blood pressure which is one of the goals of dialysis.

They took 2.5 Kilos from me today and with only that amount of extra fluids I am already breathless so it is hard for me to control my fluid intake and you can just imagine how I could possibly budget my fluid intake while with only a relatively small amount of it will make me feel out of my breath already considering that my next dialysis will be on Tuesday. I am in a very difficult and mournful situation that is just a hell on earth.