Dear Diary: It Is My Dialysis Today At 7:00 PM Again And It Sucks For Both My Parents

My dialysis center's two broken machines are not yet fixed and are doing devastating ripple effects on schedules and unfortunately I was the one being affected most especially my parents that are with me and I cannot do anything about it.

I was thinking of switching to other centers but it would be difficult to do that because there are not much centers near us and the next near dialysis center is government-owned and I do not know what kind of quality service that they do in there.

My only concern is that if they are using the kind of dialyzer that I use because if they are not using such filter with bigger holes I might not get the best dialysis that I needed. It is because the common dialyzer doesn't filter out much of the unneeded toxins like the bigger molecule uric acids and such.

I am now just killing time and I also have to use the bathroom and it is not easy to do both prior to my hook up. At least today I was able to eat my breakfast and it is a good thing for me so I won't lose much weight because I am just really trying to gain weight but the opposite happens.

If only I can do a peritoneal dialysis but my mother is disapproving it as it requires a tube on my belly. I just needed it so that I will not be required to go to the hospital twice a week because if I am on peritoneal dialysis I will just have to go to the hospital only once a month or maybe buy supplies every three months.

And of course I want the cleaning way of the peritoneal dialysis as you can have it everyday plus taking out fluids in your body is gradual and you have total control about it. The only downside is that it requires some workaround constantly and is done by your trained family member or yourself and the risk of infection.

I am still hoping for a better change in my life so I am patiently still waiting for it to happen and maybe in the proper time I can experience the well-being that I am longing for.