Dear Diary: My Dialysis Schedule Is Early Again Today

We will be heading for my bi-weekly dialysis again today but not so early as before but still early at 9:00 AM God-willing. So we will just go before that time usually an hour before because with my mother we just have to get there so early that sometimes I would sit around for a while before getting hooked up.

There is always a feeling of excitement for me at dialysis but the feeling is mixed with worry because I often get the blood pressure crashing issue like in the last time I thought that the nurses won't be able to raise back my blood pressure in time. So one more minute longer I would have literally shitted in my pants because it is actually the effect of having to crash your BP.

Dealing with a crashing blood pressure is not a very pleasant feeling because at first you will feel uneasy, then you will feel aches on your back and shoulders which is torturous because time passes so slow when you are waiting for your dialysis session to end. Sometimes I will count as long as I can to make me endure it all because I do not want my session to prematurely end as the cleaning time is important to me.

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I will just raise the flag of submission when I know that I cannot endure it anymore because my vision is starting to black-out already. By the time the nurses gets into me I am already in the brink of shock but fortunately the saline solution infusion just miraculously makes my blood pressure normal again.

So again I pray that my BP won't crash just like the other day because it is scary, I hate that feeling but I also hate my BP getting so high as well. I could not take hypertensive medications because it also makes my BP crash at dialysis. Now I am like balancing a triangle in my BP issue because it is just utterly hard to control it either by diet or medications.

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