Health Journal: blah blah

Neck swollen around c2 vertabrea. Id say its been swollen for about 3 months now. A clue? Maybe. Is it all gonna work out? Maybe. Is it all gonna fall apart into the abyss of failure. Maybe.

What difference does it make success or failure? Wether you go up the ladder or down your position is shacky. Stand with your two feet on the ground.

Man i am pooped! Pains got me worn, going to all these health places got me beat. My mind throwing shit at me lol. Dealing with "others". Just talking wears me out.

Been up since 1am. Started smoking again after over 2 months without. Was playing w the pain energy :). " i release you". Its truly amazing how energies work in our body. With my mind and in an meditative state i am able to move pain and diffuse it. When i get really zoned into pure conciousness, it momentarily vanishes. No resistance, no problems.

I have to say the universe has kept me afloat financially for awhile now. I allow it too. I never know where the money is going to come from but somehow it shows up, always at the right time.

Hurting pretty bad financially atm and really not giving it to much attention. Added stress is not healthy for my situation. Also i am not one for handouts so feel free not to donate lol. I appreciate my friendships here way more.

If you havent noticed i never started steem to make a buck other than as a crypto investment. I have learned and grown so much here. I have met so many awsome people and made some really cool friends. I love all you alls.

Im also lazy most the time when it comes to spelling or etiquette. Its not that i dont care, im just not concerned. My talking outweighs my writing i think, especially being able to get out what i really want. I like not having firm structures. Its nice to be around people you can let your hair down around. Which i do anyway. Here i am, this is me, if it upsets you, you can stare at another object.

Still trying to organize a game plan. A little unmotivated. Everything i try fails. Im very cautious when it comes to the "health care system". Definitely wanting to figure out why c2 vertabrea swollen.

Just blabbing. Everyone have a really great day! Sending yalls love and especially my fellow pain sufferers.