Homeschooling Socialising Myths.

One of the first things that people usually say when you first mention you're considering homeschooling is, “but what about socialising?”

School and socialising

It's a funny thing, really, that we are fixated on the idea that the only place children get to socialise is at school. Yet school, as we now know it, didn't exist a few generations ago. So how on earth did children used to socialise before then?

Admittedly, these days the majority of children are all attending school at certain times of day, so you'd be forgiven for thinking that there would be no-one outside of there for homeschooled children to interact with, but as parents on a local Facebook group for homeschoolers said “if we attended every homeschooling event going, we'd never be at home!”

If your country allows homeschooling, then you can guarantee that there will be other homeschoolers around to meet up with.

Then there are children who really struggle in the school environment when it comes to socialising. Some might say that any socialising is better than no socialising, but for some people and some children, that simply isn't the case. Some may do well academically, but struggle with the social side of things all the way through school. There is also an attitude that they'll have to learn to deal with other people in the workplace one day, so school is practice. While it is true about the workplace, where you might have to deal with people you don't get on with, being dropped in at the deep end by forcing it at school, isn't necessarily the best way for some people to learn how to deal with this. In fact, finding coping methods at your own pace could be a better approach.

One woman tells how her family likes rests each day. When her eldest was in school he wasn't able to rest and his behaviour became unmanageable because of it. Her youngest’s rest would be cut short because they'd have to go and collect the brother and the whole family ended up under stress. Once they started homeschooling, they could incorporate rests and then they could all cope with socialising much better.

Socialising Evolves Naturally, Not Forcibly.

In the school environment children are organised in classes by age groups with 25 to 30 children in a class. Yet, in adult life, when you choose to socialise you'll rarely make sure your ages match and you're rarely in such big groups. Workplaces will have all different age groups, so that's not even like school.

Homeschooled children will naturally make connections with other children, even adults, of all ages. My own daughters have friends who were both a bit older than each of my girls. My youngest gets on better with the older sister, who is 3.5 years older than her and my eldest gets on better with the younger sister, who is a over a year younger than her. In school, they would all have been in different classes and would have been unlikely to have had chance to even get to know each other. Yet these four were inseparable and have learnt so much from one another.

Socialising Happens everywhere.

Here, in South Australia, we have assessments once a year where an education officer comes to the home and just checks on progress and how you're covering curriculum areas. Socialisation is one of the things they ask about and they are happy to see that they're going to the library, seeing grandparents and extended family and going to the shops with their parents. Interaction with others is what they're looking for and it can be as basic as learning how to function in the world outside the home with other people. Life is social.

The education officers understand that many people choose to homeschool because their children struggle socially in the school system and while they like to see the children on their visits, they don't force communication, but are open to it if they want.

There is also nothing stopping our children from doing sports and visiting friends. Believe it or not, they are even allowed to have friends who go to school, they just don't see them in school hours.

So for those who worry, it's okay. Being homeschooled doesn't mean they'll never see another child outside of the family again.

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