Visiting Gran's Tomb and a funny story

in #hongkong5 years ago (edited)


This Friday just gone was a public holiday in Taiwan and Hong Kong, two of my home countries. It was Ching Ming festival or tomb sweeping day. Respecting the elderlies and ancestors is a big part of the Chinese culture and this day is when the Chinese traditionally go to their ancestors' grave to pay respects.

Westerners normally rock up to the cemetery whenever they feel like it. Maybe on the deceased birth or death anniversary or perhaps on a day that has a special meaning to them. There isn't a specific day in the western world where everyone goes to visit their dead love ones, and that's what caused a bit of an uproar in my old company when I was working in Hong Kong many years ago.


One year, our HR department sent out an email to the rest of the Asia Pacific offices telling them that the Hong Kong would be closed the next day for Ching Ming festival. That was a common thing for all the local HR offices to do as we have so many offices across the region and every country have their own public holidays. Anyway, a few moments after the email went out, a reply came back from a guy in our Sydney office. It was a Reply all message. Now I have to be clear, I have absolutely nothing against Aussies, they may be a bit crazy sometimes, but they're really a lovely bunch of people. It seems either this guy got out of the wrong side of the bed that day or missed the "Don't be an idiot and insensitive to other cultures Course" when he joined the company. Anyway he said something along the lines that since the Hong Kong office gets a day off for sweeping graves, the Aussies should also get a day off for cleaning the Sydney Bridge! That comment did not go down well with half of the region including HR!


Anyway, I thought that was an funny anecdote to share with everyone before I tell you how about my own tomb sweeping day. I actually went to pay respects to my gran a couple of weeks ago when I was back in Hong Kong. Land is very scarce in Hong Kong and most people are cremated nowadays. We live in the village and one of the perks for us indigenous villagers is that we can still bury our ancestors instead of cremating them. In fact, before my gran died, she made sure to tell us not to cremate her because it hurts when she is burnt! Bless her, she was so sweet. Her tomb is up in the mountains, and she used to have a much better view before these stupid flats were built.


Traditionally we always say people are buried up in the mountains but in fact it's a hill and is about 5 minutes walk from the main road. In recent years these new high rise eyesore flats have been built in our village, so now we have to walk through their rubbish depot first before we can get to the foot of the hill.



And here's my gran's tomb, a typical Chinese style tomb, at least in Hong Kong. There are lots of trees around and you'll see all the leaves on the ground, but not a single one on gran's tomb. That's what tomb sweeping is all about, a bit like spring cleaning. My siblings and I must have spent a good 15 to 20 minutes sweeping the tomb, gran would have been proud of us.


We also took some offerings to her, typical stuff like chicken, roast pork, rice, fruit, wine and tea to make sure she has a good meal. And of course we burnt a lot of incense sticks, like the ones you often see in temples. This is believed to be food for the dead. And that's another sweet thing gran made sure to tell us before she died. She said that even though we were all in UK, make sure we bury her in the village in Hong Kong and not in UK. That's because even if none of us come to visit her grave, then at least she can get some food off her neighbours by sniffing their incense sticks. How sweet is that!


Traditionally the Chinese have always treated death and tombs as a dark issue. That's quite different from the western world. For example, my parents are buried in England and the cemetery is so calm and peaceful. There are flowers planted around everywhere and benches to sit on. It's almost like a park that you would want to come and visit when you have time.

Chinese style tombs are a bit dull and grey and to be honest not inviting at all. However, if look at them in detail, the structure and contour lines are very elegant. I know the front section is for the family to stand around, and the size of that depends on how much land and hence money you have to build it. But I don't know anything about the rest of the structure. For example, what's with the two levels? Why is there a rim around the headstone? Does the shape of the border and the knogs on the side have any special meaning or is it just for decorative purposes? I doubt if I will find anything on the internet explaining this. Perhaps its another custom where the Chinese don't talk about this sort of thing.




Check out all my travel posts here on Steemit Worldmap, and also my latest project @LadiesOfAsia where we share fun and cultural diversity across Asia Pacific.



Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://livinguktaiwan.com/visiting-grans-tomb-and-a-funny-story/

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That is so interesting, and elegant is exactly the right word to describe your grans tomb. I love that you take her food and clean it with your family! What a great tradition. Resteeming, !Tip and nominating to @c-squared

Thanks a lot Melinda, appreciate it! xxx

..... did that Aussie dude really write that??

far out i won't be too impressed if i got that email too. did anyone tell him to F off? hahahaha

Wao there's still this kind of tomb in HK. In Malaysia, there are many cemetery run by big companies ,where they decorated nicely like a big Chinese-style garden. Less of those scary or grey feeling.

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We're from the village so still manage our own affairs and can cremate our ancestors. Apart from the cemeteries that have been around for ages, and the ones reserved for civil servants that died in the line of duty, I don't think HK has any major cemeteries now, there's hardly enough space for the living!


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