It Awakens... (Finish The Story Contest Entry)

in #horror6 years ago

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As the Kunst Meister tried to move with caution, the twist brought him a chorus of pangs along the neck, till exploding within his head its white vowel of pain.
Far away, to the south, the white smoke of the stalled hoverbike no longer stood out from the purple sky.
Everything in that cursed place was wrong and the black powder was a whisk, shaken by the suffocating wind of a perverse and tireless djinn.
Now he had the certainty that all those stories whispered by candlelight were not only true, but also a pale and dull representation of the deafening truth in front of his eyes.
At every shallow breath, the macabre dunes of the Obsidian Desert reminded him of the long distance covered.
Since he had left the hoverbike behind him, he had tried to taunt himself about the creeping and imperceptible movements of the sand. By now, however, it was no longer possible to ignore it: the dunes had definitively assumed the shape of deformed faces. The Meister struggled not to look at them but could not ignore those soulless empty orbits, which peered his every uncertain step. Those mounds were reproducing his face, multiplied in a kaleidoscope of abomination.
Among the dunes, madness used to arrive well before dehydration.
He almost did not notice that the Tesseract 19 could be seen to the naked eye, right at the horizon. The column pierced the black sea and challenged the streaked clouds. The awareness of his distance made him wince. That construction was huge, that artifact was Moloch's sharpest tooth.
The warm wind delivered to him, intertwined with dust, an imperceptible howl: the bark of the monolith, an omen of death.
The man waited, an immobile exoskeleton bent over the black sand. The helmet laying abandoned beside him. Soon everything would be accomplished, one way or another.


He thought back to that fateful day, twenty years ago. The day he handed Moloch their greatest victory yet; the day he committed state sanctioned genocide.

They called it art, and he, he was the master.

The Tesseract 19, his masterpiece of design. The only one of it’s kind, it had bridged the dimensions. Turning the once lush farming plains into the now-famed macabre dunes of carnival horror that echo through the planes of existence. The depths of your soul refracted and malformed in black, shifting sand. The many faces of your mind rippling over the dunes.

He had known not to look; he had told the countless Kunst Lehrling, who’s bleached skeletons rolled through the moving obsidian mounds, not to look. It was as though the sands had known who he had been to them, regurgitating their hollow skulls from the parted lips of closer distorted reflections. He knew then why his warnings had never been enough. Every fear, every concern, amplified before your eyes. An echo chamber of desolation howling around you.

He never knew how he found his way through without the hoverbike or exoskeleton. He had fallen out of the exoshell, on the edge of surrender, yet lightened by the loss. He placed one foot in front of the other, and forced himself on. The only way out, was to keep going.

The sickening shift of sand shimmered with friezes of his twisted countenance. He had stumbled blindly on, the ragged fabric that had cushioned the helmet rippling in the cutting wind. He blinkered his vision with his hands, his upward gaze focused on the ethereal form of the monolith. The Tesseract 19. It’s bulking mass pulsated before his eye, the edges beyond his human comprehension.

Somehow, he had done it. The weight of responsible upon his back driving him on through the razor wind, chipped with lacerating flecks of black sand. His raised hands and arms were raw with bloody ribbons of skin and cloth, yet still he has pushed on. Past the multitude of agonised faces.

Lost in the concentration of perseverance, he had not known he was upon the goliath abomination until it loomed before him, filling his field of view.

What he had done in there, had wiped out millions of lives. Saved millions more.

He had never felt the slightest shadow of remorse for the necessary sacrifice, the greater good had won out. Yet now, all these years on, looking back at what he put those he sent before him through in those black, hellbound sands. At what he had done in there, the suffering of the millions of innocent people who died that day. The unlucky ones...

A niggle grew deep in his chest, a sick churning feeling. It chilled his core beyond the reach of the desert of death. Something was beginning to awaken.

I could have gone on with this one, but managed to keep to the word limit. There was so much to go off in the first half of this, I was very tempted by the desert jinn - it always makes me think of Rudyard Kipling, and how the camel got him hump(ph) but I had plenty of fun with a desert of death, a master of arts, a structure from the next dimension, I just had so much fun writing this

This is my entry to@f3nix 's Finish The Story Contest - another great first half to run with, this time by @f3nix himself - and still time left to enter, so if you would have taken the first half somewhere else, give it a go!

This is a great contest as you can just sit down and write, someone has already set up the actual setting for you, so you get to just flow out story!

Working with this opening was a bit like playing with beautiful antique glass marbles, it really felt like an honour!

Photo Credit by Pixabay User Milivanily who has some amazing kitty pictures <3

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Brava @calluna! I'm enthusiastic for your mastery in exploiting all the narrative elements in the prompt. I know you could have continued and, honestly, I snorted with frustration when the story finished..I wanted to see the meeting with Moloch. You gave depth to the character, this could be a screenwrite in my opinion. I could continue with the exegesis of your story but, for now, I close with a sincere..well done!

Thank you so so much <3 I really enjoyed analysing the first half and building facts for a story to grow from, there is so much in there, and it all lines up like dominoes for ideas! I wrote it early in the morning and who can resist a little genocide before breakfast lol I just really enjoyed trying to grow him enough for him to experience some emotional progression. This is rapidly becoming one of my favourite contests, your commitment pays off in regular entries, and it is such a pleasure to be able to grow an idea someone else has started, I can't wait for the next one! I feel like there is a lot of scope for self improvement in reading how others interpret the same opening and the ideas they picked up on. I hope at some point we get to find out your original intention for some of the concepts <3

who can resist a little genocide before breakfast

That's always what I say... rise and shine, it's genocide time! XD
Well, there was one I finished.. I think it was week #4. Here the sand was made of nano-particles. It was artificial and programmed. The particles resound based on the mind readings routines which they perform collectively. There's a superior intelligence, which is represented by the Moloch, and some geodetic concepts related to where the 19 tesseracts landed. That's the story.. in my mind as long as I won't be able to cut a slice of bloody time for myself ;-) Thank you so much for your appreciation Cal <3

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Enjoyed how you tied the end in with the title.

Thank you, I had so much fun trying to work it all in :)

Well done @calluna, you set a high bar, but it is good for us. :-) Keep up the good work.

Thank you :) I am so pleased to find a contest where ever pushes each other to do better <3

I really like the angle of the main character being the creator of the desert. Very good writing

That's what I felt too! As we say this was very "tight" writing. Awesome calluna.

Yes the character reminds me of Galen Erso in Star Wars Rogue One. She gave him charisma. I think she was the only one doing it. I also want to point out that she has technique. It is understandable by her way to write, like here:

They called it art, and he, he was the master.

or in the previous episode, when she debuted with:

The other side of the pond never came.

These are ways to hook the attention of the reader and she knows how to use them.
I quite analyze the participants' writing style :-P

I just built on the blocks that were there :p

I do love strong statements, it has taken me a long time to (hopefully) not over use them and maintain the impact. I knew right away his art had to be death, although thinking about it now, going there to paint may have been more of an obvious art lol

Thank you very much :) there was so much to go off in the first half I wanted to tie it all together through the main character.

Very nice! Your ending is very complex, expecially for a non-native English speaker. The lexicon is refined and studied, the story is interesting and thoughtful 😀
Good luck for the contest!

She's always like this, I'm starting to learn. In fact, I kept her for last like the cherry on the tesseract.

<3 yey!

Thank you, I did go through a phase of worrying that my language may not be accessible to everyone on here, but I decided it was better to just go with the words that came to me in the first place. I am so glad that the complexity of the ending came across :D I am working on trying to convey things without specifically naming them. Thank you so much!!

Oh. This is probably the most grimdark sadfic I’ve read in a while.

Thank you very much not only for the comment but also for two words I did not know, and now do ;) sometimes I just get a really strong urge to write about things like this, then we go back to something nice and descriptive lol

All in the day’s works, great story once more.

A very well written piece. Congratulations 👏

Thank you very much!!

I fell in love with your writing last week and you've still got me in your grip for this round!
Having him be the designer of the Tesseract 19 was an inspired idea!

The many faces of your mind rippling over the dunes.

That would drive anyone mad!

Your ending clinched it for me. All those years without any remorse for the millions of lives he'd been responsible for ending finally getting to him. Again, I loved it!

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