My Life as a Cow...

My life as a cow was not an easy one, especially on a Dairy Farm that was run by a person who mostly drank Whiskey all day long, watched too much TV and neglected everything and everyone around him who were dependent upon him. It was terrible.

The creep would keep me outside in a field all day and night, making me eat nothing but grass. He never took me or my friends to MacDonalds or Burger King for some tasty french fries like we all wanted and begged for. He'd curse and spit at us whenever we complained about his lack of care and compassion.

I think the old guy was mean and lazy because as a child, he was abandoned in the woods by his parents, to fend for himself at three years of age. Fortunately though, he was found and taken in by a group of half-human, Sasquatch type people who tolerated him at best throughout his childhood.

He always felt small, weak and less hairy than the rest of them which gave him an inferiority complex. That is how he came to be a miserable old coot. What else could it have been?

Anyway, I'm so glad I managed to transform myself into a horse after awhile, because it allowed me to jump the fenced in field and escape. I still have to eat grass though, because the people at the fast food restaurants won't let me in. I'm thinking of filing a complaint with the proper authorities as soon as I acquire their address or phone number.

That's about it for now; just a little rant about what it was like being a cow for so many years, with an owner who didn't give a shit...

Well...actually, I was never a cow; I just used that title to lure people to this post.