Florida Man Shoplifts From Kmart Days After Buying Private Island

Florida Man Shoplifts From Kmart Days After Buying Private Island: A Florida man was arrested for stealing nearly $300 worth of household goods - including a $150 Keurig coffee machine - from Kmart, all this just days after he purchased an $8 million private island off Key West.

Now come on, stealing from a Kmart? Why, that’s just one step up from robbing a convenience store. Let’s face it, this heist isn’t exactly on the caliber of “The Thomas Crown Affair.” I mean, you just can’t go around stealing $300 from a Kmart store - that’s their yearly profit margin!

Now, in his defense, maybe the poor guy had to make a hard choice - the island or the coffee maker? I’ll be the first admit, I’d have to think that one over a bit myself. But all of that aside, I think the real headline here should have been "Man Discovers A Kmart That’s Still Open.”