A bizarre way to give up smoking!

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People have tried dozens of ways to give up smoking and usually failed, but the most bizarre involves a parrot.
And it succeeded.

Jezebel of my previous blog fame was like many an African Gray, a FAST learner. She often learned words and phrases that were definitely NOT for the ears of the visiting Pastor or Dominee, learned in a flash from the ‘wicked’ lips of a visiting cousin with evil intentions.

Ellen and her family needed to go away for a month and the sensitive topic of with whom they could trust their precious Jezebel was much discussed.
In passing they found out that their ‘over the road’ neighbour Brian, a pillar of society and a member of the Rotary Club, was particularly fond of birds. He actually knocked at the door one evening OFFERING to look after their African Grey indefinitely. ‘I will enjoy her company,’ he declared.

And SO it was arranged.

He had taken time to get to know Jezebel so she transferred from their sunny kitchen/living area to his across the road with little fuss. He frequently allowed her access to the room as he had no cat, so she adapted happily.
Time passed and great snakes alive a month had gone by and Ellen and her family were home once more and Jezebel travelled back across the road.

Ellen was first downstairs the following morning and she uncovered the parrot and greeted her cheerily, ‘Hi there Jezzie bird,’ she said conversationally.
Jezebel opened one eye and began a ritual of hawking her throat in a sound that sounded like plumbing gone wrong. It was a deeply revolting noise compounded by a fit of coughing that had Ellen peering anxiously at the bird wondering if she had picked up some awful disease whilst they were away.
On that instant Jezebel stopped with her gargling and trying to rid herself of her lungs and announced , ‘pretty polly says where’s the coffee?’ imitating her husband’s voice impeccably.

So the day began.

The problem was that whoever came into the kitchen first in the early morning, was treated to this disgusting medley of sounds designed to turn the most hardened stomach. Their various reactions seemed to delight the bird and she would sometimes even repeat the performance sending the person running for relief into another room.

After a week there was a knock at the door and a very shamefaced Brian was invited in by a concerned Helen.
’Whatever is the matter Brian, you look …..under the weather,’ she said tactfully.
‘I can’t keep away another day……..Is she still doing it?’ he blurted out.

Taking one look at Helen’s face he gasped, ‘Oh no! I prayed that a change of scene would put an end to the performance,’ and he buried his head in his hands.
‘Within a few days she was imitating my early morning ritual of trying to get my breathing going normally. Not only was I coughing and choking but I ALSO HAD TO LISTEN TO HER VERSION OF IT!’ Then like the clever bird she soon associated my lighting up a cigarette on the back porch with the cough and as I took my first puff she would serenade me with the whole revolting performance once again.’
He looked pleading for understanding into Ellen’s eyes but was met with a look of ‘not going to let you off so lightly buddy!’

He straightened his backbone and said in a nearly normal voice, ‘within 10 days I gave up smoking…………….AND I haven’t smoked since.’
When Ellen had managed to close her dropped jaw, he added ‘and I am feeling so much better that I have even taken up walking with a local group. So thanks to Jezebel I have a new lease of life.’

He began to laugh and as Jezebel cackled in imitation, he added, ‘she even gave me back my sense of humour.
SO LONG LIVE JEZEBEL.’