My Two Teachers Shaped My Life—Praise Effort Not Talent

Here is my introduction part 2. I used to play for the school team when I was young. My team manager praised my ability to play football. “You are naturally a talented player,” he used to say. I played football without much practice or effort. I came to believe that I should give up on other things and concentrate on my talents.

I neglected the subjects I hated, including those taught by teachers I disliked. My grades deteriorated as I concentrated on football. My parents became concerned. They talked to my class teacher to try and identify the problem.

They realized that I was spending too much time on football. I would go home late and insisted on watching TV, instead of doing my homework. They tried to encourage me to concentrate on my books but to no avail. After several meetings with the teacher, he decided to try out a new tactic.

My Teacher started praising me for the effort I put in my studies. One day I failed all papers in the exams, except mathematics. Mathematics fascinated me, and I bought out time from football to study and do my homework. “Thank you for the effort you put in to improve your math grades,” he said. “You can improve in other subjects if you put more effort on them.”

I have always enjoyed competing and winning. John’s words made me realize that I could do things that I am not naturally talented to do. That was a turning point in my life. I started to read and do my homework diligently, and my grades gradually improved. I realized that success hides behind the failure. Two years later was a B-student.

I have used the same method on my on my children. I don't praise them to lift up their self-esteem, I encourage them to work harder.

Be careful when you appreciate your kids, friends or your mate. Praise the effort, not the talent. When you focus on feedback that encourages putting in more effort, you help your inner circle to improve and excel.

Introduction Part 1