Boys Will Be Boys
Last week, shortly after publishing my post on violence against women, my dad posted on Facebook expressing some level of distress over the brokenness of boys and men in our society. I couldn’t believe that my dad and I being on the same wavelength was a coincidence so I took the opportunity to talk about how we talk about violence and what a disservice it is to everyone. I was pleasantly surprised when my comments garnered some positive attention and I’m hopeful that the line of thinking I presented last week will carry through to my post today.
For several years now, I have been somewhat distressed at the language we use when talking about boys and young men. “Boys will be boys,” is an oft-heard refrain when boys and young men, or I should way white boys and young men, engage in poor behavior. It’s used to excuse them as we conspiratorially chuckle to ourselves feeling pleased that this behavior is going to turn them into “real men”. These are boys who will never be called a pussy, bitch, or a pansy. Nobody is ever going to tell that male to “grow some balls.” A person who grows up hearing the refrain “boys will be boys” will never behave in a way that will call his masculinity into question.
There is, of course, a problem with the way we speak about the mischievous ways of boys. It means that the Margaret Atwood quote “'Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them” will continue to ring true in our world. Using phrases like “boys will be boys” means that the regular childhood struggles of learning boundaries will lead our boys to feel entitled to behave in any way they want. But this phrasing also means that when parents see their children’s boundaries be violated we might be afraid to confront the behavior lest we are told to just “chill out”. After all “boys will be boys.”
Photo by Ian Espinosa on Unsplash
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : https://rachelahanson.blog/2018/06/11/boys-will-be-boys/
I say YES: Boys Will Be Boys and Men will be Men. Without paradoxes. We are all and we will be a strange mixture of our past, present and future? But, all of us are not equal. The premise is: everyone you know are equal? Have you thought about meeting different people? Cultural barriers...? Regards.
Jose, I squarely reject your premise that we are not, cannot, be equal.
I will say we can all be ourselves, but when you're using these phrases to excuse bad behavior then we're done.
Sorry Rachel. But, I do not justify the bad behavior of men... Maybe I did not know how to explain myself...
What I say is that if you only know bad men, they will always be the same as bad ...
Bad men and bad boys will always be bad men and bad boys...
And we are not all the same...
My comment is to invite you to meet good men from other cultures and surely after knowing about them and check that there are good men, your opinion will change completely... Regards.
PS: One of my philosophical principles is Equity between people, and that obviously includes equity between men and women (both ways)... Excuseme, My English is so bad...
You are certainly excused, English is a terrible language.
Within the language, "boys will be boys" is usually used to excuse bad behavior. So while there is nothing technically wrong with the words, there is a lot wrong with the generally understood meaning behind the words.
....can you tell me one thing that is equal in human relationships?
Just one?
'Equality' is a cultural marxian abstract concept, attempting to twist reality- into the insnaity and then to call it 'normal'.
Seriously?
White?!!..are you racist,?
Have you ever lived in Africa? - and seen those young black boys engage in poor behavior? ....like three fourteen year old lad's gang raping a 18 yr old girl?
I was there. I have seen brutal behavior from young males. Rarely from white males.
I have lived for the last 30 years in mostly third world countries, around the world.
....All the poorest behaviors that I have seen from around this globe- from younger people - has not been from white people...
Boys will be boys is a reflective statement on the behavior patterns in young males.
Risk taking (being idiots), pushing boundaries (being idiots) - is all part of the growing up process, especially for young competing males ...the term comes from a remark on behavior, not excusing it...
A statement of what is - an observation.
It really is a mystery to me why you're here when your sole purpose seems to be to attack me and what I have to say.
I'm sorry that you disagree with my statements, based on data and observation of culture in the United States, but you are being a complete ass about it.
My sole purpose? Ego, much? lol
I am not attacking you, and please don't adopt a victim stance, it's very unbecoming.
I am attacking your argument. That is not the same thing in the slightest, (unless you are narcissistic).
Would you prefer I do not challenge your arguments?
Would you prefer I do not challenge your perspective?
Would you prefer an echo chamber?
Would you prefer your opinions not to be challenged?
(this is not very scientific, and suggests other motives for writing your posts.)
I will attack any position I see as inaccurate, willfully misleading, disingenuous, postmodernist, or wrong.
Do you see that principle as a good one, or not?
Don't apologize.(passive aggression is such an unattractive trait).
I would be very surprised if this wasn't your reaction, but the fact you see open discourse as a threat to your validity, and a personal attack on yourself - that is worrying. (or should be, to you).