Become a good person again

originally posted on: http://thedailyraita.com 

I think it is the dream of almost anybody to become a better person again. Especially after a hard period that you have been going through. Becoming a better person again? How do I do that? What are the steps you need to take in order to become a better person again? This is an important subject. Changing your life for the better.

Start asking

The first thing I did when I wanted to change the way my life was going, is by asking myself questions. Asking questions towards yourself is a great start.The funny thing is that it is not only a start, it is the way you need to keep living your life. So it is actually a lifestyle. This is one of the things that I lacked before I became a blogger and before I learned myself to code.

After I asked questions to myself, I started to see a little pattern in the answers. I need to tell you that you need to be honest towards yourself. Otherwise, it has no use. So what questions do you need to ask yourself?

1. What have you been doing lately?

By asking this question you can see a little pattern in your own life. Asking yourself what you have been doing lately, is for me, one of the most straightforward questions towards yourself. This can reveal a lot about yourself. For example, when I wanted to change, I started to see how worthless my life was and I thought: “Well no way you want to change!”

I literally did nothing to learn new things. I did nothing to become a better person and my time was spend to nothing. So dear reader, what have you been doing lately? Be real with yourself.

2. What were your goals?

Did you have goals before you made the decision to change the way you live? I did not have any goals. I was just going with the flow and I chose things I did not even like to do. I did not care that much about my life. I had no self-confidence.

I saw this and the first thing I did is to start doing new things in order to have a new goal in life. A real goal. Not a goal I would give up after one hardship. So, what are your goals? Did you have any goals before you wanted to change? If you had goals, were the goals you had real goals you wanted to fight for?

These are serious questions. Take your time and remember to be serious with yourself.

3. What made you feel like you need to change?

In my own life, the thing that made me wanted to change, was that I knew I could do more. I felt not living to my full potential. I decided to change this. I felt I did not have any goals in life and started searching for new things. I started doing things that I never dared do before.

What is it that made you feel like changing your life? Ask yourself why you want to change. Who do you want to become instead?

Understand yourself

After the questions. After you have been done being real to yourself. It is time to understand who you are. Right now you need to face yourself. Not only in the mirror, but by really talking to yourself. Reflecting on yourself is a better word.

We live in a world where social media is the worse distraction and not only social media but our mobile devices and everything. These things make us forget our own life and so forgetting to reflect on ourselves. It is important to understand yourself. If you can’t understand yourself, who will understand you then? I am sure your mobile phone won’t understand you.

Blaming social media is really weak. Remember that you made the choice to make more use of social media and it is your own choice to spend more time on social media than on yourself. That is a pity. Before you know it, one year has already passed and you are still the same you that you were yesterday.

Man, personal development, it is so important. Reflect on yourself an keep doing it. Understand your wishes. Understand why that is your wish. Remember that you can have thousands of friends, but you are still alone. Everybody is. When you have a problem it is still up to you to solve it. Nobody will do it for you. It may sound a little bit lonely, but that is how it is in life. Become your own best friend and let nobody break that bond.

Take more responsibility

As I said before, you are responsible for your own actions. So take that responsibility. The one that is responsible for the situation that you are in right now, is yourself. We as humans are fast when it comes to blaming others about what has been happening in our lives. I was no exception. I blamed all my teachers back in my primary school. They said I could never make it. They told me that I needed special education. So my self-confidence went from hero to zero at ones. I really started believing that I could do nothing. So is it their fault that I felt like that until I was 19 years old? Or was it my own choice to feel like that?

Don’t be afraid of taking on responsibilities. It will make you mature. If you make a mistake, well, everybody makes one. You can feel bad about it, but what is more important is that you think about what to do differently next time. Take your responsibility to change, because you are the only one that can change you.

Setup new goals

Goals. I had so many goals in life. I wanted to become a professional soccer player and I trained like every day. I trained myself and after a while, I really started becoming better. I had a great control over the ball and I became a good street soccer player. When it came to playing the real matches, it just did not work out the way I wanted. I became nervous and I lost the ball way too often and I could not score 1 goal. After a couple of months, I gave up.

What I am trying to make clear is, that you need to have goals that you are willing to work for even when it is not going the way you wanted it to go. I liked playing soccer, but I was not willing to go all the way for it. If you have a goal that you are not willing to go for a 100% then give it up and search for something you really want to go for even when it becomes harder than you thought.

Learn new things

Learning. This was the change in my life that made my life worthful again. Learning new things and really gathering knowledge. They say that knowledge is power and that is exactly what it is.

Learn things that you thought you never wanted to learn. Give it a go. Take the journey in order to get to know yourself better. The thing I thought I hated the most, became the one thing I love the most. I never thought that I would love programming so much as I love it right now. I could have never thought about the fact that I could ever own a blog. Well, here I am.

A great example is with babies.
When I see my own nephew and he is still 8 months, I see so much curiosity in his eyes. He is always looking for something new to learn and something new to do. This really means that humans are curious by nature. Learning new things is beautiful.

Summary

So a short recap. Start by asking yourself the following questions:

1. What have you been doing lately? 

2. What were your goals?

3. What made you feel like you needed to change?

Understand yourself and keep discovering who you are. Start reflecting on yourself daily. Make it your habit. Take more responsibility in your life. Remember that all the things that are happening right now in your life are a reaction to your own actions.

Set up goals that you are really willing to fight for. How bad do you want to achieve the goal you have right now? Are you willing to spend money when you must spend money on it? Are you ready to give up some hours of your life in order to get one step closer to your goal? If the answers are no, maybe it is time to find a new goal.

We as humans are curious by nature. So keep feeding this curiosity. There are so many things that you can learn. Try it out and before you know it, you will find your passion.