Forgot my rants this morning

in #life6 years ago

I can honestly review myself and label as a professional complainer. It's like written in my DNA to always have something to stress about, be against and force accomplishing or simply rant about. It's a thing that I am working on to change for a while, having this morning as a proof of work that put a smile on my face.

Although I woke up in the noise of the ones trimming the grass around my house I haven't felt any rage or complaints to shout out against them. It was like I considered them a "powerful alarm clock" that voluntarily triggered itself and took it as it is. Time to wake up, rise and shine :)

When I opened the Gravychain app I expected to see my coins at almost the same price as they were in the evening and they haven't dissapointed, but no disappointment or anger at the market and its bears. Juts acceptance from my new Zen mind. It did crossed my mind to buy some ETC yesterday as it was way cheaper than I've bought and traded it last time and it would have been another good short term trade, but I didn't and I'm fine with it.

WhatsApp Image 2018-06-12 at 11.24.24.jpeg

Haven't even ate early in the morning and went outside for a walk. Not even a hundred meters have I "reached" stepping outside and a small stone entered my shoes to test my reaction. How did it get there I really don't know, but didn't managed to piss me off. I just stopped and took it out. While doing that I snapped this picture also and said to myself that sometimes you need a bit of pain to open your eyes to the beauty around. Otherwise you continue walking blindly through life.

Walking further I realized that too often I stress myself out for things and situations I can control consuming valuable energy with negative reactions on daily shit. Theoretically I knew this thing for years, but practically I never "felt it" like this morning happen and it seemed that the practice out of books was needed. I know that this attitude is just temporary and the old reaction habits will find their way home, but I got to say I like it and I envy people who live like this every day.

How long will it take me to change those thinking and reacting patterns I don't know, but I sure want to and work on them. I know that you can't change a behavior built in decades, but I also know that you don't have to live your whole life on the same patterns and reactions. Replacing the old with the new is my new resolution for this year and not thinking of things. How was your morning? Any stone in the shoes?

Thanks for your attention,
Ace

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Changing you own habits, is one of the hardest things to do! But it seems that you are doing it! Keep it going and stay Zen :)
I do still have a morning temper :( And it showed this morning.
Cheers,
Peter

The day hasn't ended yet, but thanks for the encouragement :)

I am glad you’re finding some peace in your practices. Seems a great part of how we are is nature vs habit or nurture. Some of us are born with stronger tendency towards positivity, melancholy, angst or anger. (We have one of each of those natures in our little family.) we can work towards developing habits and practices to balance our nature but there is only so much we can change.

I tend towards angst in my nature, but oddly lately...it’s anger. Everything I see and disagree with - pisses me off! 😂 my Man is counseling me that this anger is rooted in that I’m resisting what is and trying to control outcomes. He’s right... so I’m trying to breathe and let things be more.

The part with resisting and trying to control outcomes is my worst habit and mind pattern. I really have to work a lot on it and learn to flow with lifes course. Hope to master that until I die so I won't have to work on that in the next life also 😁.

Speaking of next lives… That reminds me. My grandmother had dementia and lived in a nursing home for the last year‘s of her life. It was astounding to watch her neighbors there each walk around lost in their own head dramas. If you were an anxious person and never got that under control then guess what… You walk around lost in your own head game worried and anxious about shit that’s made up in your own mind. There was one guy who was always yelling “get off my lawn“ and throwing up his fist at people. It was sad and telling... always made me want to go home
And meditate to quell my own demons before they complete took over my mind in delusions.

I have some anxiety disorders that's why I am trying to meditate more and let go of every small thing that might annoy me. I realized lately that mental health was the thing I was neglecting the most. Thus I'm focusing more on myself than on things around me and situations that I would try to control more in the past. After all, health is wealth.

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