Are There Perfect Friendships? Or Am I Just Being Too Sensitive?
Oxygen is free, just like how making friends is too.
Yet, the air can grow foul.
Of late, I've been thinking about how close I actually should be to some of my friends I always deemed close.
Why?
Because there're subtle elements of toxicity which I feel, at our age shouldn't be around.
There's shit talking.
There's gossip behind each others' back.
There're facades donned for arrogant reasons.
And there're too many dumb excuses used to weakly justify them all.
This is when my friends tell me, "Oh he's like that."
"Oh we always knew him to be like that."
"Oh it's annoying, but ultimately harmless."
It bothers me because it has been a thorn etched into my body for a long time now and I truly wonder when I may just rip it off, go berserk and lash out at these friends.
Comparatively, I've friends who I truly look up to and feel completely at peace when I am with them.
I can tell them anything I want without a fear of being judged, laughed at or condescended upon.
Even when they get real with me and want to give it to me hard, they do it tactfully and I know that they mean well.
These are people I know I can trust and rely on for the rest of my lives.
Yet, at the same time, should I nitpick and be bothered by every subtle elements of toxicity, I may just be isolating myself and casting aside the actual good in these friends, because as said, they're ultimately harmless.
Nobody is perfect after all.
But when a relationship or friendship isn't perfect, I find that we make so many excuses that we deny that we are actually unhappy.
And it's ironic as hell because it's only your surroundings passing you the unhappiness.
What do you all think?
I can definitely relate. I used to have a big group of "friends" we all hungout, but ultimately at the end of the day they were more acquantances than friends.
On the rare occasion I needed a favor or was in a bind and needed help most weren't willing to.
For me personally I'm willing to go to the ends of the earth for friends and family and I find in this day and age most friendships tend to be more superficial.
I remember my grandpa told me one time if you get to be my age and you have one good friend who've you have had most of your life consider yourself very lucky.
I do have one friend who while we don't hangout much, when we do connect its like we never missed a beat. I can talk to him about deeper topics and issues and either one of us would go out of our way to help the other.
Outside of that I've kind of closed most of my old friends out of my life. I figure I have a lot going on, Im pretty busy so the freetime and leisure time I have I want to spend it with people I actually care about and who actually care about me. If I need a casual acquantance I can go to the bar and shoot the shit with someoen about the game while I'm sitting there but no need to keep those people around on a regular basis