I Was Assaulted by a Mentally Ill Homeless Man on My Way to Brunch

in #life6 years ago

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OliBea, my favorite breakfast spot. Photo by yours truly.

Last Sunday, I dropped my partner off at work and headed downtown for breakfast. There's a cute little cafe in Knoxville's historic Old City called OliBea. They've a hip southern menu with local sourdough, a full espresso bar, and fresh horchata on the menu.

USA Cycling was hosting a massive road race right through downtown, causing much of the normal flow of traffic to be disrupted. I was re-routed around where I wanted to go and chose to park in one of the public parking lots under the interstate. It'd be a quick walk to the cafe from there.

It's 10:45 am and the parking lot is fairly quiet while the racers whizz by. I pulled through the parking lot and parked close to the street closest to the cafe. Off in the distance, I hear a faint hollering - I couldn't understand what was being said, but it was said loudly nonetheless. I thought little of it, chalking it up to possibly be one of the many vagrants or prostitutes who frequent the area. While not an unsafe place, it's a place where you see all walks and I try not to judge anyone differently than the next.

As I get out of my car, I start loading up with my backpack with my back and driver doors open.

"I'm coming up behind you." I've now tuned in clearly to what the hollering is about.

"I'm coming for you. Ha ha I'm right behind you. Ah ha ha I'm right behind you."

In an instant, I whip around and a rather dirty, slightly deranged looking man is grinning no more than a foot from my face. He chuckles, I stand still, careful not to trigger him to lose his mind any further.

I have one back in my hand and one on my shoulder. I can't reach the box cutter in my bag. He puts his hand on my upper ribcage, pushing me toward my open driver's side seat. He leans in and whispers in my ear,

"He he, I'm gonna fuck you hoe."

"Excuse me?"

Incredulously. Commandingly. Completely scared out of my fucking mind.

I sidestep out of his path, this is happening at lightspeed but my vision is moving in slow motion. Out of his immediate path, nearly behind him, I slam my car door and push past him, fishing through my bag for my car key and making eye contact with a USA Cycling race volunteer who is directly addressing an otherwise completely unaware uniformed police officer.

"Hey! Hey! Where ya going? Where you going?"

He's continuing behind me, I can barely feel the ground under my feet. The USA Cycling volunteer waves at me. I sidestep around the cop and stand in front of him, placing him directly between myself and the vagrant.

The USA Cycling volunteer doesn't miss a beat as he turns to me and says, "Hi, nice to see you. Please, join us. Would you like to sit down?"

I look to the police officer and say to him, "There is a mentally ill man behind you who stalked my car, touched me, and said, "I'm going to fuck you hoe" and I am very afraid."

The look on his face was unforgettable.

"What?" Incredulously. Commandingly. His jaw set, he turned on his heel, and walked right up to the mentally ill vagrant, who was seemed to be waiting to continue walking me to breakfast, and handcuffed him. The man was locked in the police car and I finally sat down.


The police offer handled the entire situation with a careful, patient demeanor. He took notes, spoke with a witness who saw what happened from her car. She stayed, even though she looked like the top who typically avoided the law, just in case something bad might have happened. After gathering the info he needed, he asked me how I would like to proceed.

In this conversation, I learned what the word "assault" actually means. What comes to mind is a violent image, like someone beating me over the head with a pipe. "No, not at all." explained the officer. "Assault is when someone aggressively puts hands on you or makes some kind of contact with you that instills fear for far worse contact."

Did I want him to be charged with assault? Did I feel fear that he could have hurt me much worse?

Had the police officer and the USA Cycling volunteers not been there, I would've been on my own. Under an extremely noisy interstate. At least two blocks from an inhabited business.

I was vulnerable and had I not almost immediately made eye-contact with potential saviors, my fear of the worst would have been immense.

Let it be said that I abhor the idea that prison punishment rehabilitates. It does not, and nor is it of any benefit to the mentally ill. It was clear this man need psychological support, and no matter what option I chose, he would not receive it.

So, I thought of other people this could've happened to. I thought about people who are hurt by strangers and think they somehow deserved it, or could have prevented it. I thought about strangers who hurt people and what a life that must be.

I requested he be charged with assault. If needed, I'll go to court to speak on that subject.

The day this happened, I scribbled furiously in my journal each lasting detail. For my memory, and possibly for court information should that be necessary. I did my very best to put on that this incident wasn't a big deal, and that it'd just fade away as an awkward memory that I no longer needed to talk about.

But, @thekittygirl took a closer look at my obstructed journal page in my latest post...

Truthfully, I'm glad she called me out. I'm grateful to have a place to share this story. Not because the story was overly damaging to my day-to-day mental or as some PSA to make women warier​ of strangers out in public. There are a few things on my mind, though, that I believe are personal takeaways:

  • While it's great that you don't want to profile individuals, finding a balance of safe awareness and deductive reasoning does not make you a prejudice or otherwise bad person.
  • Keeping calm was definitely better than screaming your head off, no matter what other people might think. You trusted your gut, and you didn't enrage a stability-unknown person.
  • Police officers aren't bad + scary + untrustworthy all the time. Fearing the police state is one thing, but realizing you've been prejudice toward an entire profession made me lose sight of the humanity in each one of those uniforms. The police officer not only protected me, but he was enthusiastic about it. He was humbled by the opportunity to make the world safer for others.
  • Sharing stories, no matter how uncomfortable they may make everyone feel, is better than carrying them around, only letting them slip free as the butt of a bad party joke.

Thank you for reading this, and for bearing a small weight of the experience.

And, shout out to the USA Cycling volunteers, who were from the University of Tennessee on assignment for their Event Management course. The first volunteer I met eyes with laughed heartily later on in the morning after I was calmed down.

"We keep a journal each day of our experiences. Our journal entries will be almost entirely about you. I'm glad we were here. And really, this is event management." We all just laughed, and swapped more stories about favorite breakfast joints.

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Hi, I'm Amelia! It's nice to meet you.

I'm a writer, minimalist, tiny home dweller, and maker living in East Tennessee, USA. You might have found me through the Ladies of Steemit curation initiative, showcasing the female voices on the Steemit platform. Let's hang out on the blockchain and see where it takes us.

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Wow. I am so glad you are ok and there were people around to help. That must have been terrifying.

OMG, when I suggested that journal entry would make a good Steemit post, I had no clue that it would be such an intense story 😱 I saw "cycling race" and "prostitution" and "behind you" and couldn't figure out how those things related. Never would I have imagined a frightening situation such as that.

Bravo for writing about this. Hopefully, it was cathartic to write, and reminds us not to be slack about personal safety in public! So glad this situation had a happy ending!

Ha ha @thekittygirl you had no idea what you were getting yourself into! In the moment of taking that photo, I did my best to obstruct the page as not to raise any eyebrows. I scribbled so hard I didn't think anyone would even be able to read it!

Thank you for the gentle push to share this story. It was cathartic to write and the support everyone has shared has warmed my heart. 💜

Hi ameliabartlett,

Your post has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed). Keep creating awesome stuff! Have a great day :)

LEARN MORE: Join Curie on Discord chat and check the pinned notes (pushpin icon, upper right) for Curie Whitepaper, FAQ and most recent guidelines.

WHOA. Yes, big difference between assault and battery. Very happy you had the sense of mind to stay calm and find an exit route. Glad you ok sweets. Also glad you have formed a different opinion about the humanity behind the badges. They get a pretty bad wrap thanks to our negatively attuned media.

I absolutely agree! Granted, I've had more than one run-in with the law (on both sides, guilty and not) and have always been afraid to engage with them, period. It's the imbalance of power innate to their position. But, in this instance, I felt my judgment soften as he handled the assailant swiftly (but not with unnecessary roughness) and my situation with grace.

And yes, what a difference between assault and battery. With this new clarity, I've reflected on instances in the past where I've denied myself the definition of gravity in the situation. In previous situations that I now know were assaults, I felt timid to call them that. I downplayed them, and downplayed my own fear. I can only imagine how many affected people do this and how damaging it can be to one's sense of personal truth and safety.

Not to mention self-esteem and personal value. Assault is by far the most overlooked and under-punished crime across the globe. It's a vagrant weasel in school systems, at the workplace, and most ignored, in the home. Of course, half of the music and shows we watch glorify it to certain crowds and I'm probably guilty too. Never know what words can do to people - even if they aren't intended to harm.

Wow, that is terrifying. Glad you’re okay. I honestly wouldn’t know how to feel in that situation. It’s really sad that we imprison people who are sick, and there’s no way he is going to get any help or rehabilitation, but we also have to look out for our safety and the safety of others. There’s just no good option.

It's unfortunately true. If I had the choice to "suggest him for mental health evaluation because it was his psychological state that assaulted me," I would've chosen that in a heartbeat. In the moment, I wrestled with choosing simply "disorderly conduct" which would result in an almost immediate return to the streets. In both situations, it was me who had the say for how the next few months or next few years of a stranger's life would be. I hope I chose well.

I'm so sorry you had to go through this Amelia.
Such a terrible experience and I understand that you got scared. I have been in a similar situation once only they were 2 but I was lucky that it was close to a gym so there were people there and scared them off.
I didn't know the effects untill later and I was scared a long time to walk alone.
Hate that people like that even exist...
I'm so glad that you are okay and that you pressed charges against him,sometimes that decision can be hard.
Much Love to you 🌹🤗🌹

Thank you @saffisara 💜 Have you ever told your story? It sounds terrifying! How lucky that both of us were in the short distance of others. I hate to be afraid of being alone, but it's hard to justify not being afraid when we encounter these situations.

I completely understand that you feel afraid and it makes me so mad thinking that one person can do so much damage.
I never told my story more than to family but I honestly closed myself and didn't want anyone to know how much it effected me and I wanted to spare my love ones.... But it got to a point where I had to get it out so I signed up for a self defense class and that helped me a lot as many there had a story.
Im so sorry your afraid and I wish I could hug you and do magic. You deserve the best ❤️
I'm always here you know 🤗🌸🤗

So sorry you had to go through this, to have your personal space invaded and have him then lay heavy hands on you, be real gentle with yourself these next few days. I can only imagine you will be shaken by this for a while. Much healing and light to you @ameliabartlett xx

Thank you, @trucklife-family. ❤️ I am working on being gentle with myself. The subpoena to appear in court came in the mail yesterday, so that has me a little on edge. I look forward to putting the incident behind me.

That's a seriously scary situation for anyone, you were very lucky people were around who could help out - it could have ended up being a great deal worse then this.

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Reminds me to stay attune to gratitude. 🎈

Oh Amelia I am so sorry that happened to you and so glad it was not a worse outcome. Sending you love through tears. Thank you for writing this post :)

Much love - Carl

Oh Carl, thanks for always being here. I appreciate and receive the love - I have been relatively alone in the reflection of this situations until I shared here on Steemit. This story seemed like it would not be told again and that I would carry it in silence. I'm glad I didn't. ☺️

Thanks for sharing. I'm a former UT Knoxville student and employed there and at Oak Ridge as a researcher. The Knoxville downtown scene is very cool and usually safe, but I know the place you're talking about under I-40/I-75. I know of other friends who've had some incidents there, along the railroad tracks. One was a racial slur against a highly prestigious scientist who just happened to be a black man, another was a physical assault on a white man. You handled the situation admirably and I applaud the actions of the law enforcement and witnesses.

Hi neighbor ✌🏼It is a safe area, but I am now more aware and sometimes more suspicious when I see individuals in that area that fit a certain mental profile. I hope I can grow to balance that with keep an open, non-prejudice mind.

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