The arrival of a son

The arrival of a child is different in each case. There are people for whom it occurs at an unexpected or untimely time and therefore the mother can experience this moment with great pain. There is also for those who become an anguish due to the vital circumstances in which they find themselves and this sometimes prevents the mother from experiencing the necessary tranquility throughout the gestation. For some it represents an immense achievement because they have tried it many times and care and love will be abundant. There are mothers who receive it as a blessing from the moment they know the wonderful news.

When you have the certainty of the new being on the way, the mother goes through a lot of emotions, some of them pleasant and others perhaps not so much. Undoubtedly, one of those emotions is fear, associated mostly with what the future may hold, both for her and her son, and that usually stays very definitively in the life of the mother. When love finally appears, which is experienced most intensely in that first contact between mother and child, she discovers that she loves him with a place in the heart that is not known to exist until that moment. Each child will activate a different part of the heart because the bond with the mother, even if they are adoptive, is unique and unrepeatable between the two.

From there, regardless of whether the mother is a novice or if she already has experience, a lot of doubts invade her mind that make her constantly question whether she will be able to do it well or not. The first act of love is attachment, a psychological need that involves being attended to in the requirements to live and be cared for with kindness. It is important not to confuse this attachment with a kind of overprotective symbiosis where the mother can end up being affectively dependent on her child and generate significant damage to the emotional development of the child.

As the child develops, the mother understands that love encompasses more than the proper care of attachment. It will be important to teach limits; not imagination or development, but those that allow him to learn to live in society.

LOVE A SON IS:

Teach him to postpone gratification and not give in to all his whims, especially in those moments where the healthy and adequate is above the beloved. Loving a child means offering outdoor recreation spaces in the company of their peers, even when it is easier to stay at home to rest from long hours of work or housework. To love a child means to be more attentive now to the contamination of the earth, to wars and to the many crazy things that happen in humanity. Loving a child is that impulse to want to avoid their suffering and it is also that deep breathing when it is understood that it is something that you must learn to handle. Loving a child implies putting a brake on the desire to please them in everything just for the joy of seeing their happy faces. Loving a child is postponing technology so that your brain can develop properly, even if it means moving away from what most people do. Loving a child is also keeping him away from social networks and the internet until he can use them responsibly. To love a child is to teach him to be fair and not vindictive, and this involves learning to lose and win. To love a child is to defend it and also teach it to take responsibility for its errors and the consequences that these can entail. Loving a child is learning to differentiate when you need help doing things and when the time has come to encourage you to do them yourself. To love a child is to train him so that he can get ahead with your support but without needing you to be able to move forward. Loving a child implies that you do not abandon yourself as a person so that he also learns to value you. To love a child is to show him that love has two ways, so that he learns to receive but also learns to give. Loving a child are days with a lot of desire to laugh and also days with a lot of desire to cry. Loving a child are sleepless nights either because of an illness or because he has gone for a walk. Loving a child makes you more supportive of another mother's pain. Loving a child is something that can not be done with madness, it requires sensibility and sensitivity. Loving a child is an everyday task and full of everyday events. To love a child is to miss him to die every day, if he is physically no longer there. To love a child is to smile this day and celebrate the gift you will receive from the one who has given you the experience of being a mother.