Positive Change and the Challenge of Coming to Terms with the New Normal

in #life5 years ago

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There have been a lot of changes in my life over the past year. My Steemit blog went from preforming poorly to being fairly profitable (in terms of what one can expect with the current state of crypto prices and engagement on this site), I found a job that pays a living wage, I have less free time, and more responsibilities to see to. Old stress factors have disappeared and others have manifested. Many of the differences between my former life and this new one are positive, some are neutral, and others are negative (I'm not complaining). However, regardless of how good or bad I perceive these changes to be, there is a period of adjustment that they carry with them and I have found that dealing with that adjustment is more difficult than I might have expected. Our minds and thought processes grow accustomed to our living situations and they begin to have trouble seeing beyond our current abilities and limitations. When something changes (especially for the better) in our lives, we do not come to terms with the new normal right away and that leads to some potentially harmful behaviors during the period between the change and our full adjustment to it.

Getting a regular job really created a disconnect between my mindset and the reality of my life. Before, I could make my own hours and dress or behave in the way that I wanted at any point throughout the day. I also was far less financially stable back then. When the change occurred, I found that I was still wasting my free time as though I had nearly unlimited amounts of it. I would stay up too late to watch videos on the internet or because I wanted to binge on a show. In the moment, doing that feels natural because I have not adjusted to the new normal which limits my time and I suffer for it the next morning. The same is true in how I have been managing my money. I used to make very little and I survived by adopting a "drought" mindset. There wasn't much to spend so I did not spend much. Now I find that I deprive myself of things that I need when it is unnecessary to do so because the new normal has not yet begun to feel real to me.

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We tend to think that positive changes will affect us positively and that can be true but only if we come to terms with the change effectively. We are, ultimately, in control of our actions and we can only take advantage of shifting circumstances if we are able to navigate them correctly. Doing this requires that we free our minds from the ruts that we create for ourselves. If I understand my temporal limitations and get enough sleep, I will be less taxed by my work and if I acknowledge that the "rain" has come, I must no longer suffer the effects of the "drought," for example.

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Saying that adjusting to change takes time is not a profound statement but many of us never really get that message. It is nice to imagine that some good thing will happen to us and that we will immediately start benefiting from it but life rarely works like that. It takes time to get used to the new normal and some people never do. Many people are disappointed by the slow pace of adjustment and just revert back to their old ways because it is cozy and easier. However, if one gives a new life a little time to to become routine, he or she will often find that it is just as comfortable as his or her old one.

Peace.

All the images in this post are sourced from the free image website, unsplash.com.

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Getting a regular job really created a disconnect between my mindset and the reality of my life.

That's been the case for me ever since I started working. I've had a few jobs and I'm at the point now where I'm making more per hour, and working more hours, than ever before. Along with that has come more responsibility, but I'm still feeling more comfortable financially and more capable.

But back to what I started with. I have never been able to adjust to the reality vs what I think I want. My incessant urge to create is as much a desire as it is a passion. It's as much an addiction and an escape as it is a way to heal and thrive. I have adjusted to my work hours by getting rid of unproductive time-consuming habits like cartoons, movies, and video games. That is one benefit of working so much. I'm forced to reprioritize and cut out wasteful behaviors.

However, I spend the weekends catching up with life, and have very little time in which I feel free, totally free. I want to create. I often try to create. But the creativity isn't there most of the time because I have better things to do, but I don't feel like doing them because they never end and I've had enough. My life is shadowed by a near-constant frustration because of this. I want to do too many things. In my little bits of free time, I never know what I should do. I feel like I never get anywhere because when I spend a little time with all my passions/interests, I don't spend enough time to make progress in any of them. If I focus on one or two to actually get somewhere... I neglect the others. Either way I'm frustrated and feel that I'm not spending my time well.

What am I doing with my life? I have no fucking idea. I seem to go in circles until occasionally, I manage to create something. Then, I continue feeling just as obsessive, because even though I've succeeded, it's a rare occurrence and I cling tight to the temporary fulfillment/excitement it brings and don't want to let go when it fades.

It's a passion and an addiction. It distracts me from life. But it makes me more at peace with life to know that despite everything, I'm still creating things. And I can't get enough of it. I've sacrificed much of my social life to milk every minute of my free time so I can spin in circles every weekend and occasionally create something that I'll soon start to hate because I've obsessed over it so much I've killed its magic.

The thing is, I feel like if I didn't need to work, if I had plenty of free time, I'd find myself wasting it with those old unproductive habits that I have currently given up. I still wouldn't have much more creativity. I wouldn't have a job forcing me to live on a schedule with routine and discipline, so my chaotic nature would probably take over and fuck me up just as bad as working my ass off every week fucks me up. The chaos is a real problem on the weekends.

My life is a mess. I don't think this would change much if I had more time. I think I'm the problem.

I do meditate and I know it helps. But it takes time. I've been meditating daily for maybe 3 months. I can see changes have definitely occurred. And I can see many more deeper rooted problems that I still struggle with. And it's very hard to be patient with the process. I know things will keep getting better as I stick with the habit. I know my life is already great and I'm just too blind and confused to see it. I know the way I feel will pass soon... tomorrow I'll be at work again and I'll be too busy to let my mind get in my way. But the chaos will return again, and I'm tired of feeling like this over and over and over again. I don't know what to do.

You created something meaningful right here! (yet again)

I can so much relate to you two, have started a doable monthly hour "carreer" here this year and I find I am working overtime like crazy, going to bed right after coming home, preparing for work with everything else cut to zero suddenly.
I meet many somehow familiar people on the job and I feel blessed with all the outright psychedelic moments and experiences that occur, which I really didn't expect... All I thought I wanted to do with this is save some money for a great journey. Now I am seeing I am getting know-how, more social competency and facing my inner weak points through all the different people I meet on jobs and their own sticking points. It's a great school in fact.

But here's the thing: Despite all my passions resting totally because of all the overtime (heck I write Steem stuff on the train to work cause there literally is no time at night or in the morning unless I want to sleep less than 5 hours regularly) I feel outright motivated and on fire. Because I have this plan going!!!!! I finally made a concrete enough draft of my mission and ever since it has become my engine for every job I do in the matrix.

Cancelled my apartment, will move to a friend for a while who invited me into his house for a little while while I keep working overtime, then take that bit of saved money on the road and do workaway.info while working on my passions for the majority of the day. Writing, making my album, writing two books. Should more than make up for the "quit" matrix job once the time comes.

In talking to my colleagues who all do it as a regular job (no end in sight, week in week out without much vision), they are well-spirited but still stuck. And they really don't know where it will go. In contrast I see I can give this job so much these days (my ALL in fact!) *because the end is already in sight and agreed upon and my exxodus and execution of my vision is coming closer with every work day... And somehow that was long overdue, making the commitment. The commitment has transformed everything here. But I could not commit until I had it worked out loosely enough to make the universe manifest it in a way it sees fit, but concrete enough so my ego could be satisfied knowing I would not bail on everything with zero cash and no idea what to do out in the world that's driven by money.

The harshest thing is the recurring payments the system is slowly amping up all the time, we must find alternatives that work with our vision and plan! I think we'll be happier once we find a way to not need that much money just to get by instead saving the cash we make on the job or slowly building our vision up, investing in it for the long haul to switch over to that mode of life once we have our vision in our mind to a concrete enough degree.

And when there is a mission or a loose plan then the entire attitude towards spending too much time at work changes - because it all aims to support you on your journey to come.

Wanted to do this for years (but didn't find the mission!) and now that I have made the commitment and know what I want life is busy as it never has been but in its busy-ness utterly satisfying knowing this phase will come to an end sooner than I would like in order to start THE REAL JOB - MY LIFE.

Get the mission, forge a plan of the rudimentary factors, execute. Where, how and what exactly is up to the universe <3

And though I am not saying I am "out of the woods yet" or that this is for everyone, I wanted to share this with you two when I read this ultra relevant post and your comment to it. I can only recommend it, and I KNOW you BOTH have amazing skills. Maybe they are waiting to be put down in commitment terms (as a sign of readiness for the universe) and a loose-enough yet edgy vision (your ego can accept and trust to make the jump on the Earthly plane).

Much love <3

Thank you! Also, good for you, and I wish you ideas, opportunities, courage, and luck in your plan!

It seems that I have a life, and I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck to do with it. The only direction I have is: "art". Pretty helpful, right? I like your thinking, but I'm not sure I want to do the same just yet, without knowing what I want to do that I'll continue to enjoy, won't get burnt out on, and can make a living from. Maybe I'd need to find out from experience, trial and error. I just know I have a good job and I'm considered reliable. The more jobs I start and quit after less than a year, the less reliable I look if I ever need to get another job, so I think it might be in my interest to stay here a while. Especially considering I've only recently become comfortable and confident there, as it has a bit of a learning curve to it. Why kill that momentum? So, I'm aimlessly saving up as much money as I can, and working with no end in sight.

"I want to do too many things. In my little bits of free time, I never know what I should do."

I get like that too. I often find that I spend a lot of time trying to decide and then I don't end up doing anything and waste my whole day off.

"My life is a mess. I don't think this would change much if I had more time. I think I'm the problem."

I think that is the case for most of us but a lot of people don't want to admit it. I know that I cause many of my own problems but correcting those things is more difficult than it might sound. We are who we are and changing things isn't easy.

" I do meditate and I know it helps."

Haha I have never been all that good at it but I hear it works for a lot of people.

One big problem I had with meditation that hurt my motivation was worrying whether I was doing it correctly and that I might not be getting as much benefit as I could. That all changed when I got into binaural beats. They're effortless because all you do is listen to a track with eyes closed, and your brainwaves automatically sync with the tones. The brain learns to produce deeper brainwaves and everything gradually gets better. I do a daily delta meditation, and usually theta before bed (helps to fall asleep, as well as helps creativity, and dreams!). It's been nearly 4 months with this and I can say I'm feeling better in every aspect than I was when I started. I have a long way to go, but I'm definitely more emotionally and energetically stable.

It's interesting watching the developments over the weeks and months in the mind when meditating daily.

Recently I've been rethinking why I'm here. What the fuck I'm doing and should be doing. And when I get little hints of intuition, I follow them without knowing why. Or maybe I'm just confused, easily distracted, and impulsive. I guess the difference would be whether or not it ends up helping me figure out my place in this world at this time.

Wow, the parallels... Once more I feel so connected to you and your experience!

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