I'm pretty sure most men would disagree with me but who cares!

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Scenario:

You know when you can't exactly grasp the whole big thing about some things until you're in the same position and then you finally get it and when you think back to the way you used to think about it, you can't imagine ever being so damn stupid in the first place...

Yeah, that's me!

I could never really wrap my little head around what women could be complaining about when they went on and on about being a single mother and how hard it is to cope without a significant other. I mean, of course the idea of a perfect family is what we as little girls dream of and one does not get married just to end up divorced or widowed or anything in that line. While growing up, girls like me can't wait to leave the house and be independent and the fine idea of having a husband is definitely not about becoming a slave or doormat but rather of having a romantic companion to be your equal (or in some cases, a reverse doormat).

Times have changed and although women are no longer slaves to men, in most cases, we tend to long for having husbands of our own...for what reason ever.

Back to the "You know when..." scenario. As a married woman living with a man, it's almost impossible to think that single women have something to complain about. Try to be open-minded about this and just think about this for a second or three... Single women have no "bosses" at home, no shaving cream spills all over the bathroom counter or any man to clean after. There would be no empty beer bottles laying around or any manly things to complain or worry about. She does not have to shave her legs if she didn't want to or worry about other women stealing him away, etc, etc. She is the Queen of her home, pays her own bills and raises her children the way she sees fit (under normal circumstances, that is). Thus, in a perfect world and without thinking about all the negative aspects about it, it would seem (to someone who is not in that position) that single women have it all figured out.

I can only speak for myself and it should be noted that many women would also not fully agree with me, but man, was I wrong!!!!

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It just so happened that I'm a single-living married woman myself now. With kids, without husband, and I can definitely tell you that it's freakin' hard! I want to kick myself in the butt for not thinking the whole thing through before.

It's hard, it's hard, it's hard!

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I guess it's true what they say that "you never appreciate something until it's gone" or in my case, 'until they're gone', and even while I know it's only a temporary arrangement, it's still a big thing and perhaps it's life's way of preparing me for something or teaching me a lesson or something, but I get it now!

As hard as it is to suddenly be a mom and dad at the same time, it still isn't impossible. Many people do it without ever complaining and it just goes to show how possible it really is. For instance, I got used to knowing that I could just get into the car and go wherever I needed to go without worrying if there is anything wrong with the car, if it has enough fuel, water, oil. I knew that my husband would check it so it didn't bother me before. But now, it's on me.

It's actually amazing how quickly we learn to adapt to new things, circumstances, surroundings, environments or whatever you may like to call it. A year ago I didn't own a screwdriver and even though I knew how to use it, I didn't need to. I got stuck in a comfort zone which I had to quickly learn how to get unstuck from. I now own a wrench too as SOMEONE had to fix the kids' bicycle wheels, SOMEHOW!

Lately I actually amaze myself. Like this afternoon (after all the kids' homework was done, or so I thought) my son who is in Grade 3 miraculously remembered that he had to have a paper fidget spinner at school tomorrow. I panicked!!!!!!

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A FIDGET SPINNER??? MADE OUT OF PAPER??? REALLY?????

Is this teacher high on something???

This is something for dad!

But just as I had to Google how to make a fire for a barbeque the other day when the kids and I desperately wanted a flame grilled dinner, I had to search this paper spinner too. Turns out, it's all over the place! Eventually, I went with this tutorial:

YouTube

I had to try it myself before I could help my son to get it right. It took me about 3 tries just to get the paper folded and I had to pause and play the video uncountable times, but it's done! We didn't have toothpicks or super glue but we used a straw and a glue gun instead - I specifically mention this because it had to be "a creative invention" so we had to improvise - we "creatively invented" the bearing of an already existing invention and that is it! This is the final product of a 7 year old:

When life hands you paper, make fidget spinners, why don't ya?

Perhaps I would never have understood what single moms had to put up with if it wasn't for this little episode in our lives at the moment and if I can walk back into my normal life in a month or two, I would be able to at least say that I could take this experience with me and that it would be a positive learning experience for me as a person.

With Mother's Day around the corner, I'd like to congratulate and support all the mothers who would do anything for their children and love them unconditionally; and hats off to all the single mothers - you've earned all my respect!

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