Aloha. My Name Is Honeyboy. A Vet Just told My Human That I Have Only Two More Weeks To Live. Part Three.

You may have guessed it, but things of course got more interesting, adventurous and also much more stressful with our new way of living. Felines like to roam. There is not much roaming in a van. Our Human sometimes told us to think about those Kitties, who are in worse conditions. Who don't even have a family to live with. Our home was small. But it was our home. So we would go to the beach. Staying on Red Road, or like I say 'Red Road Runner Road' was like being home. Our Human loved to spend time with an Auntie and her Niece right at the ocean. There were Big Waves. We were not allowed to leave the van, except for some safe areas. Like no going out in public, but inside the van. In a way it was nice. I just wish the van would have been larger, like a felinadequate mobile home of epic proportions.

Red Road Runner Road Lower Puna, Big Island of Hawai'i

With the exception of being at our Human's friends' place at the ocean and later in the forest, we were never allowed to go outside. Even though YinYang always tried. Ipsy did get out once at Poho'iki bathrooms. The window switch at that particular van model was made for us. We just had to stand on the switch and the window would go down. And it did. At Poho'iki Beach Park. It had happened before, we know well when to implement an escape. Our Human wanted to get one old yellow school bus and convert it into a 'Cat Mobile', with a roof garden with vegetables and mice.

Makai of Red Road Lower Puna Kaimu Kalapana

The van had a problem. We were not able to have the window open without rain getting in. My fur got wet more than once in the Rain Forest. Our Human always said she is working on it, and things always change by themselves. Us Felines like to joggle. I joggled a lot. Preferably with Mice. Our Human told us that she is working on a Mouse Farm. Humans are farming anything they like to eat. Us Felines, too. But who does it? That's what our Human says. So she is going to build a farm to cultivate Mice. To have plenty of Organic & Alive food available at any given time. The Mouse Farm is considerable large, to allow the Mice to live a good life and get only the best food, maybe even getting them toys and fitness equipment. Then, they will be in shape when we are coming for dinner. Everything shall be as inhumane as possible. Like 'animalane'. It has been happening since the beginning. When I eat mice, I don't have any problems with my kidneys. I will get everything that I need to survive. Nature made it that way. And with a little bit of tweaking, it can be advantageous for all involved. Sort of.

Then, Auntie's Doggie got young Doggies. Lots of them and we had to relocate. The house of our Human's friends had a lot of little bastard ants. They were in the trees and shrubs. There were a lot of other Felines, too. A lot of them. Like those who got left behind and then decide to 'get by on their own'. Then they end up in a group with other Felines, because everybody wants to hear a good story. There are also those who need to be the head honchos. Then there will be the mandatory exchange of Feline weaponry. Which can be indecisiveness. Thinking about fighting too long. So long, that a nap will be necessary. And some food. Luckily, many of these communities get support from humans, who bring offers and enough food to get by. But our feral contemporaries lack the personal relationships we need so much to be healthy and happy. So many humans never look at how their own world view affects their immediate surroundings, like all the Animals around. They see cognition as a one way street - that only humans can interpret what is happening in any Animal's mind if they have one, as many Animals don't go for individual cognition, but stick to the collective. Like those little bastard ants, that never complain about a long workday, or something blocking their path inside the house. Little, or nothing do they know about extra-human qualities and abilities. Our Human says that most humans think in purely practical terms. Animals are either good to pet, or good to eat. If they are not good to eat and not attractive enough to play with, they may well go extinct. After all, it is the humans who decide who may live how and who is expendable.

Staying in the Rain Forest in Nanawale with the air getting worse

After the other places were not a perfect match for our needs, our Human asked a friend in the Rain Forest to allow us to stay at his home. The person is a well educated Feline support specialist and is employed by a contemporary of ours. He is a bit touchy and has never learned to be with other like minded Felines. Actually, Thunderball - as is his name - reminded us of Ipo, or how our Human liked to call him, 'Son of Trevor'. When Felines live together with their human assistant in solitude, they develop a deep connection that renders everything outside of this connection secondary. It can go as far as being reminiscent of 'The Odd Couple', and in the case of Thunderball and his Human procurement specialist, this is quite apparent. They are a match in so many ways, that the so called 'divide' vanishes into the realm of 'unable to see the forest for the trees'. As what is commonly referred to as 'Animal husbandry' lacks of the most important aspect: the platonic relationship between Humans and Felines. 'Husbandry' always sounded so misleading of the concept of living together as being synonymous to being married.

Our Human told us more than once - as a matter of fact, plenty more than one time - that being married does not mean there will be more fish, or treats, or attention. 'Husbandry' is often seen as the contract between two sides in which one side gives more than what the other one needs. Some sort of co-dependency. Thus, the term 'Animal husbandry' is entirely seen and created from a human perspective. Like when all of us live together in a van, that would not work in a husbandry setting, as it would not be possible to determine who the husband would be. Ipo? Peteyboy? Me? Or YinYang? But YinYang just raised her head to inject that she will never be anybody's husband. She is not a member of any Feline Feminists social group, but asks why there is no 'Animal wifery'? And where she is right, she is right. Human-Animal relationships develop best under the understanding and acceptance of equality with a slight tilt towards the Animal, because humans overthink everything. Animals don't come with that flaw and can provide for some down to earth instinct that is sorely lacking among humans. Our Human has a paper about me being of service to our Human's well being. But they only gave it to me, not to YinYang, Peteyboy, or Ipsy. Which made her not really angry, but she complained about the prevalent human delusion in bureaucracy. A self-centered and egocentric world view of alleged superiority by the homo bureaucraticus over all other creatures, including their own.

Da Catmobile in Nanawale with live dash cam YinYang

It needs to be mentioned that our own family in the van was unfazed by lack of space. Sure, it was tight, but I have never met another Feline that would have had a problem with that. The opposite is true. Provided that there are enough litter boxes, toys, treats and rodents to play with, there is no limitation in the Cats-per-square-feet number. We can even be stacked safely, as all Felines possess a special ability to share space that is full. Which You can easily observe here.

Sheeba and YinYang pile up in Pepe'ekeo

King of the Red and all other colored Roads: Yours Truly at an important dash-inspection-nap.

Our Human's friend in the Rain Forest is a very good human being. He has understood the true relationship between us Felines and their human staff. We don't usually hold it against those humans who don't know that they all got it backwards. Only YinYang does. But generally, the confusion about the perceived superiority of the human sub species over all of us who make what is called 'Life', is met with some mild form of pity. Well, pity might be inappropriate for some of us, as all of us have some story to tell about the abuse suffered by the hands of the 'superior' life form.

There is one good example to show You what I am writing about: Cockroaches. Let's employ this important species for our little experiment. And to make that clear: Don't believe for a second that we are unaware of the comical classifications and descriptions about life other than human. Humans made it all up. All of it. It's all from their extremely limited world view. Our Human always says that the biggest obstacle to human ascension from an unconscious species to one that understands how it all works out is egocentrism. It is this egocentrism that obscures the view of the superior species and allows for a categorization based on the world view of someone who perceives themselves to be some sort of a crown of the Universe. Of course that is an illusion. Every Animal knows that. Only humans don't. The real classification in the Universe is based on seniority. First come those who have been around for the longest time. That makes humans last. But look who's there at the first place? Yes, Cockroaches - running away from the light since a better part of a billion years. They never have time to answer any questions, because they know that someone will want to squish them, but a few times, I was able to ask a few questions. The most amazing thing about this was the fact that the Cockroach new who the first Cockroach was. It wasn't like there was nothing and then the Cockroach came about. There was food for Cockroaches when they first came to this planet. Yes, I couldn't believe it for a second myself, but then it made a lot of sense. A meteor with Cockroach eggs crashed on earth and gave them their new planet. And, of course, they are everywhere in the Universe. There are easily more Cockroaches than stars in the Universe. But then look what happened. Some human said "These creatures are disgusting. They eat and breed in their own filth. Filthy creatures. Kill them all." First off, the Universe is never filthy. Nowhere. That's a human perception based on looking into the mirror. Why? Because Cockroaches don't need to sweep the kitchen, or the bathroom, or the living room. They like it. They feel good when they don't have to go to work, doing a job they hate, for too little money, siting in a clean house watching big screen TV. Cockroaches are authentic. They have been around as long as most others combined. So, why do humans employ the image of an Owl as being the wise guy? Make no mistake, I love Owls and there are always some around our Human, but if a human being needs advice of any kind, it should ask a Cockroach. They know the Universe when there was nobody else around, but other Cockroaches, Centipedes, Spiders, Insects and Trilobites. Roughly. Why is there no "Ask Dr. Carl Roach" program to help humans to understand the intricacies of life in the Universe? It sure wouldn't be a problem to get a feeler interpreter. Yes, that's right, Cockroaches talk with their feelers, or as humans call them falsely, 'antennas'. But they are no antennas. They are feelers and sign language instruments. What the vocal chords are for a human being, are the feelers to a Cockroach. Ask them any question. Their collective memory includes everything that ever happened on earth. And in the Universe since they came around.

Questions like "What happened to the last species that believed to know it all?" "Who really built the pyramids?" "How did all these extinction events unfold?" "Is it true that there are planets with no life on it?" Is there a difference between American Cockroaches and their Russian relatives?" "What about the Germans? Aren't they different from all the others?" Just imagine the silence in the studio when the feelers are moving like the arms of a sign language interpreter translating 'The Big Lebowski' to an interested audience. Humans really got it all backwards. But as long as they don't destroy the planet and take all of us that have done nothing significantly wrong with them, let them knock themselves out. The truth is nothing You can buy, or bury. It is just there, like the Universe. And it will still be there when You are gone. Both, the Universe and the truth that is.

Therefore, even when humans tend to any of us 'Animals' in order to remedy any troubles we might be in, it happens from this position of alleged superiority. Of course You might say: "Well, what do You expect? It is not like any of You can vocalize their needs beyond food, don't You?" To which any Feline would always answer: "You say that, because You can only listen to what You expect to be coming Your way." Learn Cockroach and You will understand everything else.

Felines and most all of our remaining contemporary Animals will disagree with this human presumption. They will tell You that Felines listen with more than their ears, Cows hear more than the grass growing and generally it is possible to know a human is coming, long before anybody can see it coming. While You call that instinct, it is better explained with alignment. Everybody but the exceptional humans are aligned with the Universe. We don't need to take classes to know that there is a rodent around. There is no "What To Do With A Sick Bird For Dummies". IT happens by IT-self. When You are by default connected to the Universe, You don't have to pay money to figure out how to get connected to IT.

Me, where I love to be: Outside in the Jungle checking things out

Being in the Rain Forest, or any other place that is not a garbage dump - although garbage dumps can be great places for rodent apprehension practice - gives me the freedom to just do what comes to my mind. Not that I couldn't do that in a home, but the van has its limitations. Our Human does object to Peteyboy, Ipsy and me goofing around, using the dashboard as a catapult to jump through the whole thing at supersonic speeds. Then water gets spilled, the paté is flying around and we will be reminded that this is a small place and that we should respect the needs of the minority. To which I always respond with: "You are either playing with us - or complaining about us playing. Better to play with us!" Humans are commonly under the impression that we don't know anything about their stress in regards to make ends meet. Which is of course nonsense. We know more about them having stress - the bad kind - than they themselves. When a human figures out that they are overdoing it and are getting into stress, we are already there to relax and purr to give them a hint of what will help. YinYang said that purring should be a discipline at the Olympics, because it would be the only useful competition.

Back in the real world, things started to get very unhealthy. All of us in the van had breathing issues in the night. It would smell like a forgotten bird nest full of old eggs that broke. It was coming out of the ground and those with a house and windows to close said that they could not smell anything bad. But they agreed that the vog was worse than at the last eruption. Our Human is very connected to our Tutu Pele. She spend a many times in the Lava and says that she knows what our Tutu is up to. I have never been to fresh Lava, but I know from stories that a lot of Felines died in the Kalapana eruption. Here are Sheeba and YinYang in newer Lava where our Human lived when they were young.

Sheeba and YinYang in the cold Lava

Here You can see how far obedience can reach. Not very far. YinYang was not supposed to go into the Lava tube. To which she responded with: "Wait, I will be right back."

Meanwhile, none of us knew what would happen next. Well, we knew that something big is going to happen, but our Human was only thinking about a major eruption. She said that she does not want to be in a major eruption with her treasures in a van. But there is no better place than one You can move away from danger, right? She insisted that we all do something about it. Our Human's Mother came back into the picture and she said that we shall all return to the cold land. Only Peteyboy and Ipsy should stay here again. Which was not an option, I can tell You that. What happened though was unintended and maybe planed by Ipsy, who was always a great planner without anybody else knowing about it. He still had the spot on his leg that hurt him. Even going to the veterinary did nothing but make money move from our Human to the veterinary. Ipsy got worse and the van was too small for his pain based aggression. We didn't know it then, but he had something on his leg that hurt him very much. So he started to swipe at us. Even at our human. Our Human said that Ipsy needs to be parked at the rainbow shelter in Mountainview, until we are ready to go wherever we will be going.

Then something happened that our Human called 'the signal'. She always told us that she was waiting for a signal to get moving. The signal arrived and it made many people angry and fearful. We did not feel anything different. Our Human was not in bad shape other than from the bad air, but the signal didn't do anything to her. Maybe because she was waiting for it.

This is not a drill!!!

Our Human was on her way to get breakfast in the village. She told us and everybody else later that so called law enforcement was stopping people who were driving to town to turn around and to go home, because "The mad man in North Korea had fired three nuclear missiles at Hawai'i". To which she replied: "Thanks for the info. But I am going to have breakfast now." Then the officer told all others the same story and many turned around. Our Human is much more like YinYang. You tell YinYang what she is supposed to do and she says "Yeah. Right. Where was I? Oh, yes, doing what I wanted to do anyways." There were a lot of discussions about this event and our Human had nothing good to say about it. Only that she knew it was the signal she was waiting for. It was time to leave. From this moment on everything went quite fast. The Universe had decided to spice up our adventure and whatever should have been no problem, became a big one. Maybe it believes that keeping the tension high makes You stay younger and better prepared for more? It was odd, but whatever could go wrong, did go wrong. Like in a plan. It just wasn't our Human's plan.

Our last time in Nanawale. Little did we know, but lots did we fear. The flying thing again.

First the papers that the veterinary had filled out for us to be able to go to cold land, were filled out wrong. Our Human had to change the flight she had already booked for all of us. She was furious, but we told her that it wouldn't help. We offered her some purring and cuddling instead. She said that she had borrowed the money to be able to leave and that it is disgusting that she has to pay over a thousand dollars more to change the flight because of the veterinary's mistake. It got even worse. She was not able to get the papers signed in Honolulu in order for us to leave at the scheduled time. So, she had to mail the papers to Honolulu. And guess what? The guaranteed delivery turned out to be too late for the papers to be processed in time for us to leave at the changed departure date. She had to fly to Honolulu and there were no more flights - only first class. And not back the same night, but the next day. We were worried about her a lot. Us Kitties know when things are bad for our Human. But there was no other way now, and she went to pick up the papers in Honolulu for us to leave two days later. Us Felines can take many things quite easy. But the way our Human was and way too many other humans are treated when they travel with their furry entourage, upsets us. And it's all meaningless bureaucracy. Nothing but papers. The kind that should be shredded by Peteyboy. Before we took off, our Human had to pay double of what she had already paid for us to leave.

This flight was even worse than all the other bad ones before. Our Human was told so many excuses about why she had to pay more and more and wait longer and longer and Chicago really sucked. We were not even allowed to see our Human, in spite of having an eleven hour connection. It added to our and her trauma. We could not cuddle and purr with her and she could not give us any treats. It was a lose/lose situation that all of us wished to be over as soon as possible and that we could cuddle together again. Like before, there are no pictures of our travel. People are not allowed to take pictures in airport places they have to spend time in. In all of this there was a smile and many tears. The smile for Peteyboy being with us and tears for Ipsy having had to stay back on the island. Our Human's Mother did not know that us four were coming. We had decided that it will be better simply not to talk about something that can't be changed. We all knew that we did not know how things would turn out exactly and therefore it was important for us to stay together, like real families do.

There was of course more bureaucracy in cold land and it was freaking, freezing cold. None of us was ever in a place that could have been the inside of a freezer. Minus twenty was too much for all our tastes. We were dehydrated, exhausted and naturally hungry, but the cold was the worst part. Our Human had it even worse than us. Because the bureaucrats sent her back and forth from one office to another. All in the freaking cold after coming from Hawai'i. I believe that all humans have a sadistic vain somewhere and it comes out when others are in need. Like sending people out into the cold instead of having everything under one warm roof. No Feline would ever do that to another. Ever.

The beginning was intense. We were very happy when we finally got to our room. The parents were using the fact that we were only four and not five to get really mad. They wanted us to be only three. Our Human told them to calm down, since it was all of us who had to go through a subsection of hell to get were we were now. Our Human told us "Here we go again with another round of Statler and Waldorf". There was some issue with the cab driver as well, since I didn't want to pee into my mobile cage and kept it all this time - until I couldn't hold it any longer and it all came out in the cab. Only the cab driver was mad, but our Human gave him lots of extra money to shut him up. We just wanted to go to bed and finally the noise stopped and we were all in one bed again. Everything had changed within two days. All of us slept forever. Until our Human's Mother showed up the next day to make sure we are still alive.

End of Part Three.
To be continued.