The true face of mental health issues. The mask we wear...

Since I can remember there has been mental health problems within my family and friends group, oddly enough (but in line with reality) It seemed the happiest on the outside were the most troubled on the inside.

A prime example of this would be Robin Williams. What seemed like possibly one of the happiest people alive was deeply troubled. He was adored by millions, he was wealthy far beyond need, he made people laugh day in day out, and yet he spent his days battling the demons within.

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The brave face we put on

There were times before I suffered my own mental health problems that I didn't really understand.

I'd see friends out and about having a great time, seeming so social and happy. I never saw the hours before they came out convincing themselves it would be okay, the panic attack in the bathroom while I was having a smoke or the crying at the thought of having to leave the house and be around people.

I would hear people say they were too depressed to get out of bed let alone do anything and I would think to myself It's not that hard to do stuff when you're sad

Oh how wrong I was.

That brave face they wear when they're out about even though they're trying not to have a breakdown. It's nothing more than a mask half the time.
This realization hit me hardest when my issues began. Diagnosed as anxiety at first, then diagnosed with depression and un-diagnosed with anxiety.
I found myself sitting at home for hours before work dreading going. I'd cry on the drive there but make sure I forced myself to stop 10 mins before I arrived so people wouldn't notice. I'd shake everyone's hands with a fake smile and say Yea I'm good, how are you? and then force my way through the day before I could get in my car and cry my way home.
Shit sometimes I'd run off to the bathroom for a little fit halfway through.

Once I realized this so many things became...clear I suppose, for want of a better word. The days mum would spend in bed and not move except for the bathroom. The isolation that certain friends would put themselves in, when I previously selfishly thought they just didn't want to hang/talk.

The problem

The problem with us all wearing this mask, is that none of us can see through it. We don't often see the rough patches people are going through, even if it's right in front of us. We unintentionally neglect peoples mental health because we don't even realize its suffering, and in turn they feel more isolated.

Another big issue is that when you suffer from issues like this you often feel useless and burdensome. It becomes hard to ask for help, especially the longer it goes on. I remember sitting there with my phone in my hand messages typed out and just deleting them because I didn't want to bother them. Scrolling through the list of people wondering who I can try and talk to, fuck it was easier to talk to strangers because you didn't fear losing them.
No one wants to be friends with the depressed fucker right? the one who never feels like doing anything or going anywhere, who flakes out at the last minute on plans because their anxiety won't let them leave the bathroom.

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Sundaram Ramaswamy- Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light.

Reach out

Easier said than done most of the time.
There are all sorts of initiatives to try and raise awareness about reaching out, thinks like "R U OK? day" etc. The only issue I have with this is some people only seem to care on those days. We can't wait all year for one day to check on our friends and family, our loved ones.

A year is a long time and some people are slipping faster than others. Don't hesitate to reach out because you might be the only thing that stops them from falling.