Mental Health: How to cope with your reality.steemCreated with Sketch.

in #life5 years ago

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Depression is a silent killer and when it hits close to home we get to understand just how ghostly it is. One moment you are laughing with a relative and the next day your parents are standing outside talking to someone at 6 am in hushed tones. Clearly, something has gone horribly wrong somewhere.

A few days ago a Senior Manager at PWC offices in Nairobi took a swan dive out of a window on the 17th floor and died on impact. You would imagine such a person would probably not have anything to kill themselves over especially when it came to money. Nobody quite knows why committed suicide but that situation reminded me of the two instances we lost relatives to suicide.

One was an uncle on my dad's side. They were both in the military in the early days after college and probably were involved in some conflict areas. Maybe he saw something that stuck with him. Till this day about 10 years later I do not know why he did it. We were kids back then and as most parents do, they tend to shield their children from violent things in the world. He took his life by laying on a live grenade.

The other was my aunt on my mom's side. This was probably the least obvious. In a family of more than 12 brothers and sisters, she was the youngest. She was so young we saw her as more of a cousin than an aunt. She had just got 'married' and got a job in teaching and it seemed her life was just beginning to take off. One early morning one of our uncles came to our house and both of our parents stepped out into the dark with him. From the low voices it was obvious it was bad news. At the time we were in high school so we were at least old enough to be told when someone had passed on. It was horrible and hard to grasp. She had hanged herself in the bathroom where she had been discovered by her boyfriend.

Speak out

Now, while I have never been depressed one thing that I have seen most of the time with people going through a hard time is that they do not speak about it. While those of us who have had someone close commit suicide are left feeling guilty because we did not do anything, frankly it is almost impossible to know. You might help them the first time and then they will try killing themselves again and succeed just when you thought you were over the hump.

Especially for guys, it is not a weakness when you open up to someone. Just like when we are kids and learning to walk we latch onto anything until we are able to walk on our own. You may fall down a couple of times but in the end, you will be strong enough to do it on your own.

Resist the temptation to do nothing.

Personally, my mind is a jumbled mess of idea after idea and doing nothing with my hands, not creating anything, makes me agitated. Information is like oxygen to me. Learning something new and improving on what I already know actually keeps me from going crazy and pulling out my hair, seriously.

Just like when you have the common cold, sitting down or staying in bed makes you feel sicker. Push through that feeling and do something that you love. It doesn't have to cost money. Step out for a walk. Go to the park. Go to a recreational facility and reminisce your childhood memories on the swing or on the slide. Do something.

Find a reason to be alive.

While this is the hardest especially when you are on your last ounce of strength, finding a purpose is one of the hardest things you can ever do. The best things most of the times do not come easy, sometimes they do. Delicious meals take patience to prepare. Some of the best love partners make you work to prove your commitment to them. The reward is that much sweeter for it.


Sometimes I wonder if when someone jumps from the top of a high building, do they regret the decision before they hit the ground? Do they wish they could have a second chance so they could step off the edge and seek help? I hope they do. Maybe then it means there is still hope for those in the same spot.

Find that friend that is going through a hard time with finances, marriage or even their health and remind them just how precious they are. Make them feel appreciated.

Whales, find that struggling minnow and vote on their post. That small amount of money could probably buy them three meals a day for a month.

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Thank you @deniskj for your courage in telling us your story. That couldn't have been easy to tell.

I have resteemed this as, I feel that many people with depression and suicidal thoughts could find a lot of comfort from the advice you have given in this post and hopefully it will help them to see life in a more positive way.

@donkeysworld.

I appreciate the resteem. I think most people feel alone in those moments and getting them to see another side of that coin can save a life.

Hello! I find your post valuable for the wafrica community! Thanks for the great post! We encourage and support quality contents and projects from the West African region.
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That PWC story has me shook.
I love the points that you put across.

It was unexpected. It is not always about money. Depression comes in so many forms. Thanks.


This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.

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