Forgotten Saturday

Yesterday as I was cycling to the beach, something weird happened to me, or probably just something normal. I was just wondering why everyone was out and about, singing with their friends and loved ones, having a great house party and shit. I know that it should not come as a surprise that everyone else is happy but me. I am just not community-minded. People here actually like to spend time with others and are usually content. I just thought that this was not the day yet to be at their happiest. Just like anywhere else, everyone still has to wait for Friday, to go splurge and do whatever makes them happy. I ignored the madness and went back to my own business. I just assumed that it must be a national holiday. After spending some time surrendering my sorrows to the open sea, I cycled back home feeling tired yet rejuvenated. I checked the calendar on my computer and realized that it was just Sunday.

Being consumed in my own world, I have no concept of time anymore. Saturday passed just like that and I had forgotten about it. Everyone was just celebrating the end of the week so nothing special. Though I usually don't care about the day anymore, I still want to do something on a Saturday night. And no, not really like going out and partying 'till late, unless I have clients to guide. But you know, maybe buy a bottle of wine, listen to music, or watch a movie. It's the time to take a break from working in front of my computer day and night. I want to feel like I am still human.

Basically, that is my idea of Saturday now. I just love to stay at home and chill, not doing any else. I sound granny I know but that's just how I feel these days. It is too expensive to go out and pay for alcohol and taxis anyway. Besides, I am no longer in Buenos Aires or Cusco where the bars are open until 6 am. I see the same people here and the night gets boring. I'd rather not go out and waste my precious time.

Back in the day, I had to go out with friends and do what they usually do on a Saturday night. Eat out, drink at some pub, see a band or go clubbing until late. And when I was traveling, my friends in the hostel will remind me that it's Saturday and that I should not be staying in the room and sleep. This is probably one of the reasons I have fallen out of love with this kind of lifestyle. My preferences have changed. Sure, everyone still needs a night out these days, especially when you're in another country, but it doesn't have to be in posh clubs. I will probably just hang out in a local pub, chill on the beach or listen to a band playing some nice music. I will even do this alone if I am traveling somewhere else again. Not to attract some flies but just to enjoy being alone and shit in a strange place. I know that for most, meeting people is the point of traveling, but I guess I've changed big time. A sign of aging perhaps.

If people invite me, most likely I will just feel sleepy and go home straight away. People are boring anyway. I am boring. I even got banned on Tinder, maybe due to inappropriately advertising my business and matching with everyone else. Someone probably reported me or something. Fair enough, it's a dating app for those looking for something on a Saturday night. So, good riddance! I never got anything good out of it so far. The app is a cesspool of predictable pyscho-pervert jerks from all over the world, looking for someone to fill their emptiness for a night. Not gonna get it.

You see, there are so many reasons to forget Saturday. I'm more focused on achieving my goals than have boring fun these days. Not interesting anymore, I'd rather give in to my memory lapses. Sure, I'm old and bitter now. Probably because I don't have the right company and there are no right people around here. When it comes to people, I don't think there will ever be anything right. But I have my own standard of perfection, they can be just as perfectly mad.

You know what I want on a Saturday night? If I am not staying at home, I actually want to just sit somewhere and chill, with a perfect company or perfectly alone in a corner. If not perfectly alone, I would like to talk about things that I usually write over a beer. My thoughts. Things that matter and things that don't. Some random intellectual or shitty stuff, like what you usually talk about when you smoke weed. Because I tend to be myself with a perfect company. I don't feel repressed. I tend to be random and mad. Then I go home peacefully and sleep alone, without being treated like shit the next day. Looking back, those that I had spent time with through this way are the most unattainable. It just happened that type are not around here. It seems that I want the kind of company that I can't have. But I am quite flexible now, alone or not, how I want to spend my Saturday is really up to me. And I'm fine with it.