The Art of Being on Your Own

Yesterday, someone visited me to talk about my upcoming tour. She's not really a friend, just a potential contractor. I'm trying to see if she can be helpful in my business. After a couple of disappointments with others, it's always worth a try. It's a neverending quest for the right people. Then she asked me, how come I don't feel alone here? This is one reason why I usually don't like people coming over. All their nosy questioning of how it is possible to live alone. It's like an impossible thing here. But I understand, this is just something very typical in a community-minded setting where people get their happiness and pride from being with people all the time. While here I am, I can't even begin to imagine myself living with someone without hating that person in the end.

I know, I don't belong here. Sure, there are moments of feeling alone especially during the PMS days. It's like every month I want to die. I get really anxious and worried about the future. Everything that I have to do in my life. But I know that feeling is just momentary. The next days, I will begin to appreciate the fine art of being all by myself again. I am one of those people that get a lot of enjoyment out of these more independent years. Sometimes I want to explain myself though it's not really necessary. I've designed my own routine. I make my own breakfast. I water my plants. I say good morning to my cat then I work on my computer. I cycle to the beach in the afternoon to catch the sunset. It doesn't look like it but I do a lot of things. Things that don't really require people. I love my peace and I want more of it.

I know that moving to a different place totally on your own is difficult. It's not for everyone. But I had my previous training from years of being on the road. I was constantly leaving and arriving and not seeing people anymore. I've gotten used to it that I feel like there's nothing I can't handle anymore. I see people just as a passing show. Getting used to aloneness is good for being an entrepreneur. I guess I've turned my isolation into something good.

As much as I wish for a stable social environment, I just fail whenever I try. So, I learned to fully embrace my aloneness, in the end, this is really what I want. If I see it as negative, then it means there's something wrong with me. And I don't really see it that way, I feel content and peaceful being able to live up to my routine and fulfill my daily tasks. I realized that relationships are not the center of my world anymore. Whenever I try to be with people, I just end up wanting to be on my own. I think removing myself from the game saves me all the trouble of liking and disliking them.

I am pretty much convinced that it is very possible to be happy on your own if you don't take orders from anyone and you know exactly what you want in life. Right now, what I really want to achieve is maximum comfort and privacy. Like the first-world type of comfort and privilege. This is quite impossible if I don't have a lot of money. In my perspective, I have to work hard and be able to buy this status. I have to be successful in my business and be able to enjoy life without having to worry about basic needs and anything else. And live my life fully and continue to enjoy the fine art of just being on my own.