When It's Time to Cut Some People Out of My Life

For the past few days, I've been rethinking my human connections around here. Apart from my valued partners or vendors, I learned the hard way that the rest don't really give any value to my life anymore - not even for meaningful friendships. I don't really think friends would do this for me. You see, I arrived here full of hopes and dreams. Despite my misanthropic tendencies, I gave some people the "benefit of the doubt" by seeing the good in them. Maybe this is just me trying to find the assurance that I am not literally living alone on an island. Then I realize that I am really living alone on an island. I am building my business on an island. But, I came to a conclusion that some people I know here or most, did nothing but bring me down. It is time to free myself and completely cut them out of my life.

People come into our lives for a period of days or years, arrived along our path to serve a purpose. Most of the time we don't fully understand when circumstances change and people no longer add value to our lives. At this point, I've developed a good judgment of people. There are just times that I fail to trust that judgment as I tend to give people a chance. And what if those chances ruin myself in the process, causing me stress and anxiety, then it's perfectly fine to just break the ties. In fact, I see it is very healthy to just cut people off.

Sometimes I think that heartbreak is necessary just so you won't live in misery with someone. Now I think the same with friends, it is necessary to be disappointed bg time just so you won't have to put up with them for the rest of your life - saving you precious time and mental energy. It is necessary to feel down just so you don't expect anything from people anymore. I would be very surprised if there's someone good around here.

To recount, a couple of months ago, there was this someone who was supposed to help me out in my venture. He is the real local expert who knows the ins and outs of this place. He made me hope and gave me false promises. The guy proved to be unreliable, egoistic, and downright negative. He did nothing but discourage me from achieving success. Everything has gone wrong between us and I'm happy enough that he proved to be such an A. Then his friends came into my life who pretended to be the 'saviors' saying that they will help me out in my business and all. The other guys have a dive shop and they know everything about operating boat trips. Guess what, they all proved to be such jerks too. When the time came that I finally have clients, they were nowhere to be found. And thanks to my good judgment, I've foreseen this happening. My lack of trust just saved me from my demise. Good thing that I have reliable service providers who supported me all the way. And they helped me make my tours a success. I no longer have to associate myself with the wrong people.

Not to explain myself but I'm not a man-hating princess okay. Most of my long-time friends are males and they happened to be far away from me, living their own lives and all. Just this time, I realized that the source of all my troubles around here is men or my expectations from them. I just notice how they have these deep-seated emotional issues and inborn insecurities. I'm tired of hearing nothing but doubt and negativity from them. They are otherwise known as - toxic people. If they cannot support me in my endeavors or rejoice with me in my success, then they are not my real friends. I don't see the need for keeping them in my life anymore. I ignored all the signs in the beginning because of that shit called "benefit of the doubt" and the fear of being alone on the island. I finally realize that I can handle everything on my own and my life is no longer friend-centric. This time around, it's all about my passion, goals and my own happiness. I'm better off without these surfer village jerks. How liberating it is to just finally cut them out of my life and just focus on moving forward.

Here's what I think, in this Darwinian and patriarchal community, people are used to seeing a woman stay at home or having a "white man savior" by her side, or a man to lift her out of the dirt. One was telling me that I just made my space smaller. Sure, that's exactly what I want. Basically, they want to imply that I won't be able to get my business off the ground or that I am nothing without them. I am not supposed to do everything on my own or surpass the males bruising their fragile egos in the process. I am not supposed to demand and say what's on my mind. I am supposed to be agreeable and care about the shit they spread about me. I am not supposed to be more successful than them because I am not from this town. Here's the thing, I won't apologize for coming out as an alpha male. I'm just done - no more chances. And if by any chance I see one of them running out of air underwater, I won't share my octopus. If I see him struggling and drowning, I will throw him 4 kilos weight belt, oh wait, 6 kilos or depending on his buoyancy. Basically, what I'm saying is that don't challenge the retributive female rage. And I don't expect any saving from any of them either - I am feral. I am so used to my detached and pyscho-cold life. Love is the answer? Sure, where is it? I can't touch it, I can't feel it, I can't eat it. The more people show how much they don't care about anything else but themselves, the more I don't care about them. They just created a monster, I just created a monster. And from now on, I will do whatever I want no matter what - I don't care anymore. What freedom!

One of them was telling me that the problem is that I don't trust people. Now he proves to be right. There are people I trust and then there are people I don't. Everyone knows that trust is one of the most essential factors in friendship and relationship. I trusted them but then they proved to be unreliable and unsupportive. They have no genuine concerned about what is the best for me. Worse, they did nothing but doubt my capabilities and self-worth. And yes, I am very upset, but it is never too late to free myself from these people. I don't need to explain myself anymore - I just let them go. When the bond is broken or betrayal irreparably sets in, it's time to find the exit.