Revisiting the Chat Pack

Every few months, I dip into a Chat Pack to find some interesting topics for discussion. Chat packs are sets of cards with conversation-starter ideas on them. Great stuff for the next time you have a cocktail party with a room full of introverts. Here are my responses to the ones I drew most recently. Please feel free to respond to these in your own way via the comments below.

Card 1: What is your favorite thing that begins with the letter “W”?

Water. As Henry David Thoreau said, “I believe water is the only drink for a wise man.” I would adjust that to encompass some other drinks that include water, but he was on the right track there. Thoreau left civilization and built himself a cabin on the shores of Walden Pond, a small lake in Massachusetts. There, by the shores of the pond, he found himself in nature, creating some of the finest literature anyone has ever written.

Photo of Walden Pond is used under Creative Commons license via Flickr.com by ptwo.

No one can live without H20, since our bodies need water every day. Beyond that, I also feel at peace when I am near a large body of water, such as an ocean, lake, river, or even creek or pond. I am one of those people who loves to swim, take showers, get wet on hot days, and generally spend as much time as I can in any source of clean water I can find. So that’s it: Water is my favorite thing that starts with W!

Card 2: If you could create a building made entirely of a natural product, what would it be made of? (No joke – there’s a building in South Dakota, The Corn Palace, entirely covered in real cobs of corn!)

Dog turd fungus, Pisolithus tinctorius. This stuff is amazing. It looks like doggie doo or horse dung. This time of year, it grows under trees in my backyard. It is not dangerous. The Native Americans and early settlers used to crack it open and make dye from it. Believe it or not, the color that comes out of it is purple, so it’s also known as the dyemaker’s mushroom.

Dog turd fungus is not fecal matter; it is a kind of fungus. It grows on the roots of certain trees, such as conifers and oaks. And each autumn, it rises above the ground. I have seen it grow straight up through cracks in the pavement before, but more often, it’s in a yard or field near trees. If you kick it, it makes a cloud of dust like a puffball mushroom, but it has more of a solid interior than some puffballs.

It looks for all the world like someone took a big crap on the ground, but they didn’t. This fungus actually is a sign that the soil is healthy, though possibly not very rich in resources (since it seems to prefer areas of depleted soil).

So why not? In response to this question, let’s build a house from dog turd fungus. I’m sure there is a beetle or fly larvae somewhere in the world who probably agrees with me. That’s my answer to the question and I’m sticking to it.

Card 3: What is the best gift you’ve ever received?

One year, my kids gave me a homemade coupon book and told me I could redeem the coupons on demand. One coupon said they would wash the dishes, another that they would clean the bathroom. Rather than having to nag them to help, I enjoyed picking out a coupon a few times per year and handing it to them. Then I could sit back and relax while the kids cleaned the house.

That was a good present and I might subtly suggest that I wouldn’t mind getting it again next time I’m due for a gift.

Card 4: If you could create a new sport by combining various elements of two existing sports, which two sports would you combine and how would people play your new sport?

Water polo frisbee. Start with water polo, but instead of using a ball to score in goals like futbol/football/soccer, throw a Frisbee. Pass with it, score with it. There would be a lot less paddling and someone might get hit with the Frisbee, so I’d prefer to have a soft Frisbee. I’ve seen some soft plastic disks covered in fabric which easily fly like Frisbees for half the length of a swimming pool.

But a brief Internet search shows me that my idea is not original (it already exists and it's called Ultimate Water Polo).

So instead, how about water polo darts? Two big dart boards, one at each end of the pool. One big dart that people can throw to hit a certain score. The tip would not be sharp; it would be some kind of aquatic-compatible magnet or Velcro. In other words, it would stick to the dartboard and make the score easily readable, but the tip would not hurt anyone. This is not lawn darts. There might even be an electronic scoreboard that registers points for hits in certain zones of the dartboard. The dart itself would float so that no one would need to go fish for it at the bottom of the pool in the event that it dropped down there.

Hmmm. No, we can do better.

And in closing…

Hopefully, you have enjoyed this brief digression. If you have thoughts on any of the above questions, feel free to provide your own responses in the comment section below. Answer just one or any number of them.

Dog turd fungus photos are by the author, which is why they're blurry. Other images are public domain or credited in the text.