I'm FUCKED

Literally. I feel like shit.

I am aware this is just temporary but right now it seems so real.

Was working hard these last 3 days combining it with fasting... etc.

That was not the smartest thing to do, I guess

In full i worked around 33 hours but the fasting and additional physical activity made me feel so drained...

I was working that kind of job no one wants to work. The kind of job where they tell you to do shit no one else wants to do.

That's what I did. I have no problem with that, it's just a small part of the process

But, I do feel how I feel. Meaning I can't really write a meaningful post on Busy but I'll try to finish it with something meaningful. Lol

So yeah, my first day at work - I was light. Everything was super easy, out of my mind being focused on what is and just enjoying the presencia.

As I was trying to interact with other people more and more... I was kind of getting drained bit by bit

And don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to imply people are toxic but maybe they are. Lol

Maybe just a fucking bit... or maybe they just don't understand energy exchange at all, nor powers we posses - such as the power to create or own reality

So majority of things I've heard was: lot of swearing, anxiety, tiredness, low frequency... etc etc.

Nothing new really. I was convinced how it won't touch me cause I'm aware of it all and was trying to lift the frequency up...

As hours passed, I fasted more and worked harder... Was constantly in pain in and out but trying not to be identified with the body in order so I don't have to go deeply through it

First day: I was good.

After it finished, slight indications of drainage appeared. Nothing serious...

Second day: I arrived at my job. It's fucking 9 in the morning and everyone should be energetic, I reckon...

But no one was, somehow the frequency was still low even though it was just after everyone woke up.

So I was like, okay, this is gonna be a long day... and it was

Battling myself in various fields, going through all kinds of physical work as well as mental battles with my brain and stomach that just wanted some fruit sugar... i said NO.

As well, me smartass had to roll a blunt at the pause the first day and the second... go hard or go home they say, right? So that's how I did it. I always love to challenge my avatar... that ends up with me feeling fucked up like I am right now

Fucked up but I know big things are coming.

Nevertheless, second day passed... I chilled with my buddy in the nature and we smoke another doobie. Then the third one... meanwhile we ate some almonds with dried fruits, banana or two

Afterwards I tried to get him to listen to this:

We did it for few minutes... after that he tried to convince me he turned off, what he didn't realize is he didn't turn off but his brain fell in thought patterns on a subconscious level

So we went home, somehow I slept even though it was fucked up when my body was completely sore in and out.

The third day came... I barely got out of my bed

But I said fuck it. This is for me... this is for bigger goals, so I went forward

I drank orange juice, did quick enema administration as well as used neti pot to clean my sinuses and got out quick as I could. I was fucking late.

Little did I know this is gonna be physically the most challenging day until now... Physically most challenging, but I still came there fasting even though I embarked on all kind of shit this week - cardio session, sprinting, wild yoga session... all kind of crazy shit

Wtf is wrong with me? Why am I so extreme? All in or nothing? I guess... That's why I lost 2600 STEEM on @magicdice

And those motherfuckers won't even upvote my post. Fuckers.

Anyway, don't want to digress... this day was super fucked up, in every way you can imagine

Super bad weather... storms, everyone feeling like shit being energy depleted and nervous asf.

Obviously you are nervous if you lunch in the bakery mate... but that has nothing to do with me. Just observing, spotting too much I guess

Cause I was overly attached with EGO.

So this day was kinda suffering... the moment I realized myself being completely unaware of what's happening for 5 minutes, then reminding myself to breath - I knew which kind of day this was

I fell in the matrix shithole people! Damn. And to think that majority of people won't even understand me... why I even wrote this post?

I guess cause my tribe leader @kennyskitchen said how he loves posts with 1000+ words. So I'm respecting his wishes cause I'm super grateful for his work as well as our loved supporter James.

So yeah... after fasting for few days and being extremely physically active, cleaning myself in every way I can... the day with most suffering came - today. Overly attached to my mind, even unable to block it for trapping me... it was obvious something would happen if I don't get my awareness back

At the break... I rushed to get a contract from my Student center (still a student) and I realized I need to sprint in order to make it... so I did sprint, and run... and fast walk... and everything, on a break from a physically intensive job on a 3 days fast... I simply think I'm unbreakable, I guess? I don't know...

But I live in fucking modern times... I'm not in the jungle and shit is fucked up.

So I got back... they ordered us to do a new job, it has something to do with collecting bullshit - placing bullshit in a truck then taking the bullshit off the truck. Super creative thing to do...

In the middle of all that mess, shit became too strong for me... I needed a break, I didn't feel my legs. LMAO

So I went to find a slacking spot and spent like 5-6 minutes there with my buddy.

Little was I surprised when I got back and this guy was pointing finger at me... where have you been? DO you want to work or fuck around?

I can tell the boss you are getting lost. and shit... all of that followed by negative vibration was targeted at me and he was completely unaware of what I've gone through until this day...

This is the moment where my EGO totally took the situation... fuck it I'm human I guess

Shit got real serious... I did some HC fucking rant and tbh I even feel bad about it... We got in a conflict and some risky words where thrown at me, same as the words coming from me...

I said to the guy he doesn't want to fuck with me cause I'll tie him in a tie and he'll call his mommy! LOL

EGO, really EGO? WTFFFF??? That was brutal. But this is just a glimpse of what happened...

I don't want to go in details.

Good news is, I reconnected to my true self afterwards and the whole group was chilled after that incident broke out...

Fuck it guys, sometimes you need to let the EGO off the leash! Or is this just excuse?

I'm not sure... but I do know, Jesus did fucking chaos in that temple when they got on his nerves! LOL

Whoever reads this... I don't know what to say to you. Thank you? I guess.

See you soon guys... have a beautiful night or day cause I'm knocking myself out!

Peace.