Fear's Influence In Decision Making.
Humans are very emotional beings and we make the majority of our decisions based on what/how we feel. Several emotions exist; love, hate, fear, anger, joy, guilt, pride, etc, and they all affect our decision-making abilities differently. There happens to be a lot more talk about anger and love, maybe because they result in actions we can easily notice. Nobody wants to be with an angry person, everyone wants to associate with love. They are usually all in our face unlike the very subtle emotion of fear.
I feel too many of us very greatly underestimate the power and influence of fear in our lives as humans.
The human mind is one of the most powerful tools available on earth and it can be stretched to conjure almost anything. This powerful tool is what fear makes use of in a masterful way to hold a lot of people to ransom.
What Really Is Fear?
It is a very unpleasant feeling. It usually surfaces when there’s a threat of harm or danger or pain. Above all, it’s all in the mind.
Majority of the time, we make/create our own fears due to our inability to predict the future, and our “almost always wrong” assumptions of terrible things happening as a result of actions we take.
The latter has held quite a number of people back from venturing out and living their dreams. Instead, fear has made them remain at the level of dreaming their dreams. Fear breeds uncertainty. It questions everything and doubts every move. Fear inhibits and prevents true manifestation.
Imagine, for a second, kids on the playground and then imagine these same kids around people they are scared of. Maybe that thought is too far. Imagine yourself faced with the possibility of losing something very dear to you. Now imagine that not being the case anymore.
Decisions that could potentially take us to the next level most times don’t come easy. Sometimes we need to take a little bit more risk to push ourselves over the line and into the next level but many of us allow fear to take over and determine our actions. The only thing fear is good at is rooting you to the same spot and preventing you from trying out new things.
Imagine you going on a plane with the mind of skydiving and when it’s time to jump out, you start fidgeting and don’t jump. You will not only miss out on the current excitement of skydiving but you’ll be faced with, for the rest of your life, the question “what if?”. What if you had jumped, how would it have felt? Unfortunately you’d never know because you allowed fear determine your actions.
Letting Go Of Fear.
Why would you want to let go of fear? Could it be because you're never at your best whenever you are scared? Maybe you've had way too many regrets over time and you want to put an end to it. It just might be that you feel, strongly, that you could probably be a lot more than you currently are if only you let yourself go a little bit more. Whatever your reasons may be, letting go of fear is always a good idea.
Now remember fear is one of the most underrated emotions/forces on earth. This implies that letting go of fear isn’t as easy as just deciding to let go of fear. More often than not, you need all the help you can get in order to be able to successfully overcome fear.
Seeing as fear, for the most part, is all in the mind, having someone restate the truth to you several times over could help keep you in check and on track to achieve that seemingly impossible feat. Take for example your fear of skydiving, you could have me stay behind you and push you out of the plane or you could have me remind you every other second how strong you are and how you shouldn't allow fear hold you back. Either way, you need an extra push to get you over the line.
Really, there is a thin line between being held captive by fear and living a life of freedom. Most times, all you need is just one more push and you're good to go. That "one more push" might not be the next push but if you don't stop searching, you will eventually find it.
Fear would want you to remain in that abusive relationship because "you don't know if anyone else will ever want you". The other reason might have to do with how long you have been in it or how much you have sacrificed for it. The truth is, as much as these things had happened in the past or exist in the present, what is not healthy for you will never become healthy just because you cook it long enough. As long as the recipe is mixed up, you can never get that dish you've pictured in your head.
Fear would want you to never apply for that new position because "you're not sure if you'll ever be good enough". Newsflash: Nobody is ever "good enough". You'll never really know until you try so you should always try. Odds are you actually are a lot more than you give yourself credit for.
Fear would want you to remain satisfied with your current level because "what more can a man ask for?" You start to ask questions like "Why should I ask for a raise?", not because you're being modest but because you are scared of being turned down.
Fear would prefer you continue crawling than attempt to take those first steps because "you'll fall if you try to walk". It's very true that you'll fall if you try to walk for the first few times but falling is never the end of the world. You never know what happens after falling several times; you master the art of walking.
Fear never serves you a complete dish; there's always something missing. Fear tells you the truth, or so it seems, but it never gives the full picture. The storyline is always twisted to favor the storyteller.
There are two things I want you to never forget;
- Every Fall Holds A Lesson
Realize that the worst that could happen is that you learn from your fall and try again. Come to think of it, that in itself isn't a bad thing by any standard. Every human should endeavour to learn something new each day and if you get a chance to do this, you should be excited that you're on the right path.
- Do You Want "Safe" Or "Exciting"?
This is all you to decide. Nobody can really play this part for you. It's all about what you want out of life. See the truth is that there isn't really a right or wrong answer so take out the fear of making a wrong choice. Whichever choice you decide to go with, you'd still live your life. The only difference will be the content of the life you're living. If you want "exciting", then there can be no space for fear on your team.
Fear is indeed debilitating, keeping it's host in bondage. I was telling a friend recently about investing in Cryptocurrency but her responses were so fearful despite my lengthy explanation. I quit after a while, realizing she is no risk taker and is so full of fear that she might always remain so! Unfortunately for her, there is absolutely no way for her to become wealthy on her salary (well, except for divine intervention). So, I'll do what I know to do, take the risks wisely despite my own fears and wait for her to come back by mid-month asking for a soft loan....sad, very sad!
Beautiful article @fisteganos. I see you've joined the leagues of the great philosophers now!
To imagine that I always feared never having an opinion! Prior to 2017, I did a lot of "content consuming" and feared I'll never have anything to contribute because I felt empty. Fast forward to now and there's "the leagues of great philosophers..." 😄
Fear has been my major problem but until when I had to face it and it went completely. I actually did that on Sunday when I wanted to stand on the altar to speak for the first time in church. I watched myself trembling and then I speak to the fear and immediately,it left as soon as I step on the altar.
We need to speak out and resist every fear and they will flee. That was how I overcame my fear yesterday in church.
In real life situation, I've watched a sky diver develop cold feet at the last second of jumping. He was thrown off by the jump instructor. 😂
Wish there is that in life, develop cold feet and get thrown off :)
We all need that push every now and then! I feel if you surround yourself with amazing people, they can provide that push in various capacities.
Fear has taken a lot from me, it has impeded my speed life in many ways.
When I decided to face my fears and excelled I felt bad for letting it take a lot from me before realising. I was scared of "what if the other pasture isn't greener" little did I know that the pasture was greener than I thought.
And 'heresay' is another thing we should desist from. Because, Mr. A failed there doesn't conclusively mean that Mr. B will fail too.
It's not bad to fall. But we must make sure that each time we fall, we pick something up. Falling makes us stronger for tomorrow.
This is so true. Too many people live their life off the experiences of others when it’s so clear that the circumstances are by no means the same. Thanks for pointing that out 👍🏼
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You are right everyone want to be happy, not to be harsh on