Penises are not sniper rifles!

It's rather pathetic that I feel that I need to illuminate people on the realities of male anatomy, but it's not like we live in a society that realizes that the basic anatomy of males and females of a species is important. Sure, in some countries. But in some countries they teach multiple languages and their students know the history of multiple countries and can tell you the name of multiple Nazi concentration camps. Some are still struggling.

The male anatomy doesn't work as perfectly as some seem to think though. Of course, your personal anatomy may work "better" or "worse" in some ways to do certain things, and it may not even look like what people tell you is normal. That's okay though. Everyone is different. There are people will all different looking genitalia, and even quite a few that are intersexed, and that's alright. We're all born different.

However, those of us of the more protruding sex are expected to pee in a hole that's a few feet below us, depending on our height. This can be more or less difficult for some of us, depending on our anatomy. Not every penis points straight out all the time. Sometimes it hangs to the left or right...and we don't always necessarily know how it's hanging until the stream starts flowing. It's far easier than some might imagine to literally piss all over the wall...or across the room.

I may or may not have somehow accidentally hit the ceiling before too. I don't exactly remember how. I think I panicked.

We also don't necessarily notice every time we might accidentally splash some.

I'd like to see you try to get a stream of liquid that doesn't always all go in a perfect stream, using an inaccurate water pistol that may or may not leak a bit, or twist to the side some days, every day, multiple times per day, and never accidentally get every a few drops somewhere it's not supposed to be.

Reality is that it happens. And if we're honest, it probably happens a lot more than we're comfortable admitting. And you know what? We do actually clean it up quite a few times. At least I do. I even get a mop out if it's bad. ...And it does get bad sometimes. Getting out a mop and bucket in the middle of the night because the little guy decided to spit left is not fun.

Penises are not perfect. They don't shoot perfect streams. It's a mass of flesh. Sometimes the stream splits. You can literally be pissing on the side of the toilet sometimes at the same time as pissing right in the bowl. It can also dribble while it's pissing...sometimes all over your shorts.

And guess what? Despite the fact that we all have to live with these stupid lumps of flesh, many of us have memories of traumatic experiences of teasing as a child, so we don't think about those times when a mistake happens as just some unfortunate event, but as something horrible, and a potentially even worse event if it's discovered what happened.

And no, dumb ass, we can't just sit when we pee. That might actually be the only option for some of us, but for anyone that can, they probably stand, unless they were already shitting. There is just so much sexism and abuse in society that really, no one should be forced to sit when they pee, just so you can abuse them because they missed.

And see, that's what this is really about, abuse. Because for some reason, people think it's alright to abuse people because they had an accident and a few drops of urine got around the toilet, or even worse, maybe there's a puddle. But see, accidents happen, and you're just proving that you have no respect for someone, because you chose to abuse them for something they can't control, and just have to live with their entire life.

All you have to do is be like "Hey, you got some over-spray in the bathroom, can you get the mop?", and most people will do it...unless they're being lazy at that moment...or their entire life...or they themselves are a dick. But for some reason some people think that some small little issue is cause for abuse.

Accidents happen. Things get dirty. Not everyone wants to clean up right that second...or even noticed. Calm the fuck down, go see a therapist, and stop expecting men to be perfect fucking shots, because male anatomy doesn't work that way.

But I totally meant to get it in your hair last week. I lied. Serves you right. I hope you had to use a whole fist full of shampoo and the water just made it stick in there more.

_(source)