The Nuclear Family and Society's Radiation Poisoning

Society tells us that a child should be raised by their mother and father.

But should they?

Right now, millions of children are being raised by people that don't fit what society tells us is "normal". Some are being raised by single mothers or single fathers. Some are being raised by two "fathers", or two "mothers". Some are being raised by people with no relation to them, that adopted them, but they may still see as their mother or father. Some are being raised by their grandparents, or their aunt and uncle, or some other relatives. These children will not end up any more or less fucked up than anyone else.

We identified 79 scholarly studies that met our criteria for adding to knowledge about the well-being of children with gay or lesbian parents. Of those studies, 75 concluded that children of gay or lesbian parents fare no worse than other children.
From Cornell University's page - What does the scholarly research say about the well-being of children with gay or lesbian parents?

So, same-sex couples don't seem to fuck up their kids. So clearly there's no special sauce in regards to the combo of a man and woman raising a kid. It's just that it helps if someone is there to help take care of the kid(s).

It's not that two was a magical number of parents - on the average, the kids did better living with a single mom than they did with a dad who was married to a stepmother. The best living arrangement of all (with regard to substance abuse) included three adults - typically, mom, dad, and a grandparent.
From Children of Single Mothers: How Do They Really Fare? by Bella DePaulo Ph.D.

Yet society tells us that kids need a mother and father. The stories about kids with fathers that left always tell us how horrible they were for leaving, and how the kids are depressed, and picked on, because the person that donated sperm to create them didn't stick around.

But is that really so bad?

Let's be honest. Some people weren't made to be fathers. Some will suck at it. Some will be abusive to their children. Some will raise utter brats and psychotics. Of course, some of this could be mitigated by teaching people how to raise kids, in addition to all the other shit we teach them in school. I'm sure that statistically, they're much more likely to use such a skill.

How much of the issues with single parents are actually caused by the stress that society puts on us that we're supposed to be raising kids in a nuclear family? How much stress is caused by it? How much harder do parents have it because society tells us that they're supposed to "go out on their own"? How much better off would they be if some of them stayed home a few more years and left when they were ready?

Raising kids is hard work. "It takes a village.", as they say. By succumbing to societal pressure and pride, millions are putting their kids in slightly worse conditions.

Of course, as the second article that I quoted also mentions, hostility in a household has even more negative effect on a child's well being than raising them as a single parent. So, staying together for the kids only helps if you can live harmoniously. So you should resolve your issues, no matter what you decide to do.

We should all try to overcome societal pressures and choose what is best for us. We should also stop letting others pressure, and even abuse us, for the decisions we make in life, even if they don't fit with the norm.

_{Photo by Alexas_Fotos (source)}