Tell Me Lies

in #life5 years ago

I saw Santa Claus at the beach today. I didn’t get a picture—didn’t want to look like paparazzi—so you will just have to take my word for it. He was walking with someone that did not look like Mrs. Claus, but I won’t make any assumptions. He had a pipe in his mouth that looked like something he borrowed from Frosty, and the smoke smelled good. His hair was curly but kind of flat looking; I’m not sure that the salty air suited him. He had on flip-flops and jeans that were rolled up and was heading toward the water with a look of purpose in his eyes. This really did happen, I assure you—I might lie frequently, but it is always for the greater good.

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Never mind that the boy is picking a wedgie, this was a beautiful moment of examining "The biggest Christmas tree in the world".

I just ran out of tape. I have six rolls of that thin papery ribbon that you can curl with scissors to beautify what is basically a chain and padlock you’ve just wrapped around the present. Somehow I acquired several rolls, so of course I’ve got to use it. My mom was a better mom than I am. She always just wrapped our Christmas presents with paper—no ribbons, no tedium on Christmas morning. I’ve got plenty of ribbon…but no tape. Alright then, packaging tape it is. Present opening will now take two and a half times longer than usual, and that’s no lie.

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A grey sky can't keep a beautiful beach down.

My son has taken up telling lies recently. It seems like it is a five-year-old milestone. His lies are almost never for the greater good, but it doesn’t matter because I can read his face like a book. I recall when my son was a baby, I read an article on how some parents are opposed to playing Santa because they don't want their kids to find out that they have ever lied to them. I think that my son probably made that realization, unrelated to Santa, sometime last week, possibly last year, so the pressure is off. Playing Santa has given the kids and I a lot of enjoyment over the last few years. I’m pretty happy with our lie. Lies for the greater good happen all the time. I'll give you an example.

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Frosty the Sand Head

We were traveling to the beach this morning. I turned on the radio. The boy was ecstatic about the Christmas music. The tot, being a tot, decided to act like a tot. She started demanding the music be turned off. The situation escalated. It was immediately clear that upon having it turned off, she would shout turn it on! Then, somewhere nearby but disguised by twisting roads and traffic, some good looking firemen whizzed by in a firetruck. The siren caught the children’s attention.

“I can’t see it!” The boy shouted.
I see it,” said the tot.
“No you don’t!”
“Yes I do!”
“No you don’t!”
“Yes I do!”

And then came the sweet little lie.

“I believe you, baby,” I said.

The tot quieted, satisfied; without a partner to argue, the boy began scanning the streets with his eyes again. All was at peace. I followed this up by singing along with the Christmas music as loudly as possible to distract from further conversation, which is pretty effective at distracting toddlers and adults alike.

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I get the feeling I’ve lost all credibility now. You don’t believe me about seeing Santa, do you? Maybe he wasn’t Santa, maybe he was just a retired petroleum engineer from Alaska that is really tired of people asking why he isn’t in his red suit. If he’s from Alaska, and looks like that—I’m satisfied. Definitely Santa.

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies…

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So many memories came flooding back when I told pretty little lies to my little darlings about Santa @ginnyannette. Frosty the Sand Head is most creative!

If I counted up all the lies I'm sure it would be an impressive number. I think my kids will appreciate them all some day. :)

Thanks, Frosty the Sand Head was all the work of the boy.

I can't tell you lies... I'm a terrible lier cause I'm clueless.... I forget I lied and then say the truth so yeah... I always give myself up. If you gonna lie you need to be always focused and have a good memory! hehe

Ha, yeah lies that require future maintenance are too much work. I stick to the placating types. As I get older it becomes more and more clear that the only useful lies are the little white lies.

Its hard to imagine santa in 30 degree heat and a pair of flip flops!😂

He had those sort of feet that you can tell haven't worn flip-flops in a long time. I am guessing his feet were experiencing sensory overload. He was also very, very white. North Pole kind of white. But he was liking the temperature, he just didn't know what to do with himself.

haha! Santa on the beach..lol.. and he was smoking a pipe. Well it sure sounds like Santa. Anything is possible but you'd think he'd be a little busier than that at this time of year! Hey what's with the red beach?
frost the sand head! lol! That has to be a dang Florida thing!

Agreed, santa ought to have been very busy. Maybe there were a lot of bad kids this year, or maybe he is just very well organized...

haha! yeah maybe he worked hard all year and is taking a break before the big push, I'm sure he has an army of elves working around the clock. lol. You didn't point Santa out to the kids?

No, it would have been too obvious. I didn't want to anger Santa. Nobody wants to do that.

haha! good point!

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