The black death : From the eye of the beholder. Comedy open mic #22

in #life6 years ago

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The black death : From the eyes of the beholder

I remember the day as vividly as one would remember his most relieving dump. In some ways it was even as explosive and I surely did feel as good.

In the haze of streaming songs encompassing one's sadness and inner turmoil the terrible thought of gaining friends, mixed with a dash of mischief appeared in my self numbed brain. I made my way to a group known by their own decision “ The black death.” The name must very well raise any creature’s dubious feelings to an all time high, but like a man about to marry, I dove head first into a doom created exclusively for and by me.

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The greetings, by their lovely bot-like admin named after a most displeasing breakfast food was a bit of a shock. “Oats” had come back to haunt me for all the years of making faces at it and throwing it away when mother looked away? Someone normal would have left and cowered under his lovely and soft blankets, something a weird girl called Sara, without an ‘h' mind you, and with the sweetest smile had in unnatural abundance.

The god given smile would most pleasantly offset her self acquired weirdness, much like your friendly neighbourhood Labrador.

Speaking of canines, a shock to one's delicate and already troubled mind came from two girls pretending to be one of those deceptively sweet and downright vicious yet ugly dogs, with a three letter name “Pug”. Much like the Imp. One hastily named them while running for one's shitty and sadly dear life. Was this a metaphor by the girls? A trap for lovely men to fall in?

The Imp from the underworld seemed to have inspired at least two other names in this horror chat room.

Ghosty. The quick derivative for this name in one's thoughts is, uninspired, unimaginative but easy to use. Whence the layers are peeled back from this unpleasantly smelling onion, and oh yes he knows a lot about onions and what not, at least some of your assumptions poof away into a cloud of flatulence. His Partner in crime is the nice “Iceycream”. Note my emphasis on Partner. By profession this one is a vet. Have you spent some of your frolocking time on this unimportant question? Where there are pets, vets simply appear, as though a penny from the back of one's ear. Silent, magical and apparently loves ice in her cream.

The cat was out of the box now. Quite literally, they had a sustainable relationship with one of the guardians of the underworld. The unimaginably ghastly part about this feline from hell was that the person behind the screen was so committed to either the role or the creature that he spoke like one, including pretend actions. The vet in this server sure would be busy taking care of the real animals. Her one escape leading her back with more of them. Talk about your work following you home.

The one person who seemed normal was someone named oakshugger. How one can hug a mighty oak or what might possess one to do so should be a mystery, but not on this server. No siree. This everworking vandal seemed to read between her longer- than-human work hours. Some would say driven and hard working. Some, in this vast universe, maybe.

This group of the strange spoke as friends from a neighbourhood long lost to this age of relationships, destroyed by the green raked in by the humans, while leading a simultaneous assault on the green of the Gods. Yet I slept, my heart's turmoil and pain reduced a tad, knowing that somewhere around this globe of blue, housed in some electronic circuit and stored in one's and zero’s with heavy security guarding them, were the handles of some new friends.

Note to self : bring down the creepiness


Thank you @thinknzombie for the much needed edit and @anikekirsten for telling me it is indeed funny and to go with it.


steemer


meme source - collected from across the internet and this group. I did not make the memes.


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that was hallucinatory.

Your [Insert Female relation] Called...

She's finally satisfied


Src

lol, hahaha, she is a friend of mine. She might chop my head off if she sees this. hehe

You had to upload my dick pic Idi

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