Decisions

We all have to make decisions. We all hate to choose between right and wrong and what we often fail to understand is that there usually isn't a "general" right or wrong. It's only about what works. For you, for me. The decision is ours and ours alone.
We can lose ourselves through only one second and that's the time it takes us to find ourselves again, maybe different but still deep down, ourselves.

Decisions - we are the sum of the decisions we make. Or aren't we? Are we, in the end, an entity who just happens to do things? Or do the things we do define our entity? Words. Choices. Voids.
You and me, we're in a void. A dark blue abyss where we float and no hands reach out to catch us, to pull us back to safety, to hold us when we need to be held.
There are no hands, there's only people. People who can help you or no, it's of little matter. And in that moment, you need to learn to hold yourself.

We're told we need to find true north, that we must find, in this uniquely strange existence of ours a way to function that does not depend on anyone else. Because that's like a strand of grass - the moment that outer someone disappears, so do you. You're thrown into this abyss and you may not find yourself.
And so, you learn. You learn to find what makes sense to you. You learn to give the answers you must give yourself in order to survive.
'You'll be fine,' you tell yourself and that voice you should trust. Because there's no one out there who better knows what's going on in your head. Trust the voice and trust yourself.

The decision is yours to make, not his, not hers, not anyone else's that might be. You must not look to them for answers or absolution, because there's none to give. The only people who can help you right now are inside your own head. You can find them or you can be lost forever.

You want to scream because it seems unfair. I understand. You were allowed to believe that there will always be someone out there, to guide you, to tell you what you must do. As children, we believe our parents will always have all the answers, regardless how complicated the question. But they don't. Because they're not their answers. They're ours. They're yours. They're mine.

And you and me, we're the only people who can fix this.

Decide.

With every decision, you die a little and are born anew. By the end, you'll be someone completely different. But with the right decisions, you'll be the one you were always supposed to be.

Decide which voice in your head you can keep alive.