Simply the best

I like listening to people. A lot. Truth is that most people like to talk, you know. Not all, many are shy or at least pretend to be, but I'm pretty good at getting people to talk, I know how to make them comfortable, I suppose. And I love listening because you learn a lot about people that way. Most of the psychology I know has been gathered from conversations with people – I enjoy observing how someone's mind works, what makes him tick in whatever way and how they react to different stimuli. And that's a remarkably easy thing to do, you just don't make it about yourself. I dislike things being about me, generally, so I mostly listen to others, study, observe and usually make good observations.
It's easy to be observant if you keep your eyes open. Or your ears.

Earlier today, I was sitting on the bus, you know, listening to music, willing away the remaining stops, when something caught my attention. The lady of the opposite side was talking on her phone and I don't usually pay attention, but like most people, I also love a good drama.

'He'll never find someone like me, that's for sure.'

That's what she said and it made me take off my headphones (discreetly) and eavesdrop. You get some fantastic ideas when you eavesdrop, don't judge :P
Anyway, she went on to describe what a huge asshole he was and how much she'd given him, how many gifts and implicitly how much of herself. Now, I wasn't able to gather what this poor sod had done – my money's on cheating or screwing her over some other way – and it's not really important. Not to this post, anyway.
See, what she said got me thinking about how we...well, how we think generally. Because she sounded like me and my friends, you know?

He'll never find someone like me.

And we believe it wholeheartedly when we say it. Well, naturally I do, I'm great and he never will, but the problem is – we're all great, we're all irreplaceable and way out of his league, whoever he is. Or are we?
It's so easy for us to fall into this belief that we are so very awesome. It seems to be in our nature to want to be the best, at anything, at everything. We just want the title. And I get it, it's an ego reflex – he'll never find someone better than me – because you're already wounded at this point and it would just be the last drop to even think that he might find someone smarter than you, more beautiful, someone who makes him happier than you did.
How could there be such a thing?
It's a mentality that exists within us all. I know, not you, you're a saint – if that's what you're thinking, wait awhile. It will come to you, because that voice lives inside all of us – that we're the best. Of course we are, you're the best at what you do, even if your boss doesn't recognize that. What does he know? And of course you're the prettiest woman in the room, did you notice that look the bartender gave you? You're the smartest, bravest, prettiest, funniest. You're the est, what more can I say?

But you know what the trouble is? So am I. And so is the lady on the bus. And so is the friend she was talking to. We're all the best.

And here, see, we're in a bit of a pickle because how can we all be the best? I mean, I'm the prettiest girl in the room, but what if you're in the same room as me? I believe I'm the prettiest, but then again, so do you. And we can't all be the prettiest, so what do we do?
Think about this idea that he won't find someone better than you. I get it, I do, but the truth is he might. We have to be realistic here for a second, honey, and since we all seem to think we're the top, someone must be wrong with that assessment. I mean, his ex probably said that very same phrase. But he did meet someone better than her, you – because of course you're better than her. And the woman before her said that too and so on and so on.

Could it be maybe you're all wrong?

I know, it's a frightful possibility, but still...could you be wrong? Someone has to. So what if it's all of us? What if none of us is the best? Because think for a second, he won't find someone better than you, okay, but at the same time, there's a high probability he's saying that very same thing right now to his own mates. And that's not alright with us, is it? Because you're done with that asshole, after all, and Prince Charming is just around the corner, so quite obviously you can't wait to meet someone better than him. So if it's possible for you, why wouldn't it be possible for him?
It doesn't work the way you'd like it to and the truth is, no one's the best. Not you, not him, not your exes and probably not your future loves either. There is no such thing as “the best”, especially in love. You can only be the best ATM. I'm not saying you can't be the best at something, maybe you can be, the best at making pancakes, the best at cheering your SO up, the best at....well, you know.
But you can't be the ultimate best, the ruler over all. It's a skewed vision.
That's what love does, it screws with your head, with the way you see others. Right now, I'm in love with you, so obviously you're the best, even though normally, I wouldn't care for X things about you. They don't matter now because for the time being, I love you and for the time being, you are the best.
Next month, maybe not so much.

And it's alright, that's now this works, you know? Because I no longer see you as the best and that's a terrible slight to your pride, but then, you're free to not see me as the best either, and that's good because there were probably things you hated about me too (I don't mean me, Honey, I'm perfect, I know, but still...).

So you can only be the best at a given time. Which means that yes, he'll definitely find someone better, someone who will be better than you in his eyes, at least for a while.

You can't be the best. Not just the best, you can be best at something, as I said. This goes for love, work, friendships, whatever. You can be the best at one given thing, at one part of your job, at one something. But not at everything, so why are you trying?

He'll never find someone better than me.

He will. Your boss will too. So will your landlord and your school friend.

Get used to it. Stop caring. If they left, you don't want them around here anyway, trust me. Stop focusing on who you were for them. Obviously, you weren't the best, otherwise they wouldn't have left. And obviously they weren't the best for you, otherwise you wouldn't have left. Jesus, how much longer are we going to debate this mediocre wannabes? Life's too short.

That being said ~

Thanks for reading,