A Different Perspective On Nice Guys

Image source: Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Nice guys get a lot of hatred these days.

They are told they are bad and they shouldn’t be like that.

Understandably so. Sometimes this can be true.

But what is behind this judgment?

Or what are nice guys in general?

The definition of a nice guy is that they say one thing but actually have a hidden agenda behind it.

For example that they are not interested in a woman sexually but secretly are. And will get mad if they are not rewarded with sex (or other favors) in exchange for their niceness or pleasing.

Just one example out of many.

So they, in essence, are out of integrity.

Who isn’t?

Who, in this day and age is not out of integrity once in a while?

No one.

Everyone has their agenda in at least some area of their lives.

That area is key because this shows us where we need to reclaim our power.

What causes people to have an agenda or to be out of integrity?

Fear and fear of losing something or someone in particular.

The fear of losing love and the fear of death. The fear of losing one’s resources or access to those resources. There’s not much glory or rewards out there for people who speak their truth, say what they really mean and challenge the status quo. Even when we look at history, these people have either been slandered publically or shot dead (or killed in some other way). So this is understandable that we as a society or as individual humans dare not to be in integrity. We know that we might die.

But we have to do it anyway. Because otherwise we will rot from the insides and become bitter human beings who have to hide from life itself.

How can one remain in integrity or reclaim their power?

Say what they actually mean and desire after getting clear on what it actually is.

Very simple yet hard to do.

I would even go as far as to say the hardest thing for a human being to do at this moment in time.

Maybe ever.

So, in essence, nice guys are showing us something that is a part of our consciousness as human beings, and what we are working towards changing collectively.

Being out of integrity.

They are also showing something we need to do ourselves, reclaim our power.

And most importantly they are being the light-givers to an issue so deeply ingrained in our consciousness, at the same time as showing us the shallowness of our being.

What does this mean?

We are judging nice guys but we are actually judging ourselves.

Because in the back of our minds we know (even if we deny it) we can be out of integrity as well.

Who can truthfully say that they haven’t played the role of a nice guy or girl? That they have not done anything out of a hidden agenda? Subconsciously or secretly hoping that their needs get met if they please the other person enough?

I know I can’t, probably You can’t as well.

All we can do is our best and then learn from the moments we do our worst. Then do it better next time.

Happy reclaiming of Your power.

Ian Altosaar