That Amazing Feeling
Today I felt something that I haven’t felt in years. Drive. I felt excited and driven. For the first time in the longest time I was lying in bed waiting for my alarm to go off because I was so excited to get going with my day. It’s been years since I felt like this. The weirdest part of it all was that it was just a normal Monday. There was nothing in particular that justified my excitement. Funniest part of it all is that I didn’t even hear my alarm go off! I left my phone in the garage and couldn’t hear it, which of course resulted in me oversleeping Insert facepalm here hahaha.
Somehow something shifted this weekend. It shifted in a good way and I am sitting here trying to understand what it was that did it. I was extremely anxious and cold shouldered since I woke up on Friday morning. I didn’t know why but I was. Then all of a sudden I woke up yesterday and this positive feeling started gaining momentum. I got up and it was like I had started my own laundromat. I washed everything. I folded everything and I finally threw out all the shoes that I know I will never be able to wear again. I have funky knees so I can only wear training shoes as that’s the only shoes that my inserts will fit into. By inserts I mean hard plastic things that actually force my foot into a position that distributes my weight correctly. This results in my pesky knock knees being forced into the straight up position and I don’t go to bed with them throbbing in pain every night.
Now that I re read that I realized that maybe that was what it was. I threw out something that I had been holding onto. I spent years building up that collection. A collection that I will never be able to wear again. The reality is that I’ve never been more comfortable since I had a reason to walk around in trainers all day. That shoe collection and the entire wardrobe that was built up around it was to create a perception of myself in the eyes of others. At the end of the day I had a very important job and I needed to look the part. Truth be told I was uncomfortable most of the time and I’m happy that I can now go back to my casual and carefree look.
That’s it, isn’t it? I’m happy being casual and carefree. I’m happy that I can get up and get dressed in whatever I feel comfortable in and I don’t have to worry about what this or that person will think of me. It doesn’t matter! In my current work environment it doesn’t matter! You show up, do what must be done and you go home. There are no unwritten rules or ridiculous expectations. I’m excited as I had forgotten what it felt like to work with people like this. I’m excited because I know I have the skills and experience to help them achieve their objectives. At the end of the day I’m excited because I can finally contribute in a meaningful way. I can contribute in a way that will make a difference and the best part of it is that I don’t have to ‘dress’ a certain way to get it done. My opinion matters again. It’s my capabilities that matter again. Not my outfit! This is what resulted in the shift.
Thank you for reading and remember to keep smiling 😊
All photos were taken by me 😊, with my Samsung Galaxy S8.
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I so share your sentiment! When we moved to McGregor, I made an important decision: no more war paint (aka make-up). It has been so liberating. That and wearing what I like to wear - which means what is comfortable. That's not to say that I don't do the war paint thing from time to time - as a couple of my posts show - I save that for high days and holidays. Then, I use a couple of tricks I've recently been taught - with fantastic results. The upshot: I feel comfortable and people tell me I look good. Can't beat that, can you?
On another note: I am glad you have new energy and focus - it's so good for one. I went through a really dark patch last year, and coming out of it has been, again that word: liberating!
And being valued - priceless!
Seems we have something in common, I stopped wearing make up too :) It was the best feeling not getting up everyday and layering, what I like to call now, my fake face on hahaha. To feel comfortable in just being myself was truly one of the best things that I have gained.
Yip, me too! It took 50 years, hahaha! Perhaps I'm beginning to grow up ;)