I am in Depression

If you love someone who has depression (my girlfriend)(hopefully) you need to know how to be near them without feeling that it’s your duty to heal them.

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At the same time, you need to be careful not to forget about yourself. When your partner has depression, you can feel their sadness too, so you might feel the need to save them.

You need to know that you are not the one who should be a hero, and it’s not your fault that they’re suffering.

When you’re in a relationship, you want to make your partner happy, but when you love a depressive person it’s not that easy.

For someone who is diagnosed with depression, the hero should be themselves. Your role is to guide them to search for help.

Depression means feelings, emotions and trauma, it’s a lack of balance in the brain, so it won’t go away with your smile, your enthusiasm.

Our duty is to bring happiness in our own lives. Of course, those around can offer support, but they can’t eliminate the trauma and pain.

One of the hardest things to do for a depressive person is to admit that they have a problem.

Nobody wants to admit that they need help, especially not someone with depression. Of course, you can’t force someone to see a therapist, but you can suggest that they might need help, with no fear and no aggressiveness.

If you stay silent when you know that something is wrong, you are not doing any favor to anyone. All you can do is to promise to stay close to them, that you will help them if they promise that they will also help themselves.

The more you try to help them, the further they will be of helping themselves, and the more unhappy you’ll be.

You will feel like your efforts are in vain, that you failed, you will believe that you didn’t do enough, you will forget to take care of yourself.

You can only make yourself happy, and if your partner is unhappy, you could offer them the moon and it won’t make it right.

It’s not your fault. Many times, people who live with someone with depression start accepting any kind of behavior, and that’s not right.

If they won’t look for help and you start becoming unhappy, tell them that you can’t help them if they don’t go see a doctor.

A person with depression might put the blame on your or others, or they might ignore the suggestion to search for help.

Don’t despair. Specialists recommend talking with family and friends. It’s possible that, when they will hear the truth from someone else, they will react differently.

But don’t make them be ashamed, they should feel that you are trying to be there for them.