"I Cannot Approach Women No Matter How Hard I Try!"

in #life5 years ago


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Back with another Simply Elated type video (as opposed to my China content) and this is something that a lot of men need help with.

A lot of men have this problem: they cannot approach women no matter how hard they try. It doesn't matter how much people tell them to "stop being a bitch" or "be a man." It doesn't matter how many pep talks they get and how they should "just fucking do it" because ultimately, they just cannot do it.

Here is something that all of you men need to understand:

simple arrow with shadow - right.png You DO NOT have Approach Anxiety!

Calling something approach anxiety is basically only acknowledging the surface problem. Yes, a lot of men feel anxiety when they think of approaching a woman but that is just the tip of the iceberg.

The anxiety doesn't come from the approach, it comes from the perceived negative consequences of approaching a woman!

red gradient bullet.png Rejection

red gradient bullet.png Getting Embarrassed

red gradient bullet.png Making her bored and uninterested

etc.

These are the fears and insecurities you have that you are NOT willing to experience. So even though your mind might be urging you to approach a woman, your body just won't budge. There is a conflict between the conscious and unconscious mind. The conscious mind wants to approach the woman to attain something, but the unconscious mind says "NOPE! Bad Idea" and won't allow you to proceed.

How Do We Change This?

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We become brave enough to experience whatever it is we are avoiding.

A lot of men didn't grow up with a lot of confidence. As a result, they probably inhabit vast amounts of shame and negative thinking. By approaching a woman, there is potential for all of that to come out and expose it to the rest of the world which to a man, can be devastating. If a man does not want to expose his shame, his body will prevent him from putting himself in situations where there is a high chance of that happening.

When will the anxiety go away?

When we are ready to experience what we've been avoiding. If you are afraid of approaching because you think you're boring, you will eventually have to come to terms with the fact that when you approach a woman, you will bore her. As long as you try to become interesting or exert effort towards entertaining her, this fear will not go away. Men try to find ways to be more interesting or have people like them, but do so unsuccessfully. There comes a time where you just have to say "fuck it" and allow it to happen.

The same comes from any other fears you have. If you are afraid of the woman embarrassing you, either you face that fear by allowing women to embarrass you, or you avoid it by not approaching. What too many men do is try to change who they are or hide their insecurities but all it does is build up even more to the point where it's got to burst out.

You Are Not Afraid of Approaching Women!

Like I said, there will come a point where you have to accept the insecurities you have and allow what you are afraid of to happen.

There will come a time where you will tell yourself, "if I approach this woman, I will bore her, get embarrassed, have other men make fun of me, look like an idiot, expose my shame, etc." and then say "Oh well. Let's do it anyway!"

That's the point where approaching women will not create anymore anxiety. You aren't avoiding what you are truly afraid of!

If any of you need more help on developing self confidence and eliminating anxiety, you can check out my eBook on my website:

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http://simplyelated.com/index.php/the-rewards-of-an-unfair-life/

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Watch the video for even more info and help on this subject!

Thanks for reading & watching!

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Very interesting topic. While I do think there's something to the "just suck it up and do it" approach. I think when people just suck it up and do it, even if it's awkward, at the end of the day your alive after it, it didn't kill you and after doing that a few times you realize worst thing that happens is an awkward moment or two before you run away lol.

That said like you allude to I think there's more to it. While part of it is shyness and anxiety of rejection, it's also a lack of confidence. By improving yourself in other areas of your life you gain confidence and then can more easily approach people. \

Ultimately I think this comes down to giving 100% to everything you do in your life. Work hard at your job, keep your house clean, keep your appearance up, if you do hobbies or workout give it your best. When you start doing this you notice you start to develope more confidence

Yes, very true. 2 people can both feel anxiety, but one can feel much more than the other. It usually boils down to lack of confidence and self-acceptance. This person is trying to prevent the negative consequences of approaching women (i.e. getting exposed, making her bored, rejection, etc.)

Definitely you're right, Most men are afraid of the consequence of approaching the women!

Do you know this guy called "sasha" ? I think you do..
https://www.youtube.com/user/Sashathepua

Check it out if you don't know him before.

Hahaaa, I remember Sasha. I remember watching that one video of him in London where he was just approaching women non stop in busy area. I think he is also on Steem as well?

Thanks for the delegation btw. Really appreciate it!

I don't think he is here on Steem. Let me know if I'm wrong!

Happy Dtubing :)

Found him: @sashadaygame
I remember seeing him on DTube talking about spirituality I think

Thanks man!

Now I'm trying to find his Steemit profile link from his YouTube channels...

I upvoted your post.

Keep steeming for a better tomorrow.
@Acknowledgement - God Bless

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Brutal!
I love it :)
Peace.

Thanks brother. It's true and it works =)

You ever heard this saying before? Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal?

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