Second letter to my mom.
Do you remember, I refuse to hate you lady?
She came knocking on the door. She decided to feed my cat a snack or two. She then decided it was her turn to feed a monster elephant in the room. A master chief in the kitchen with a janitor's heart for foul language that elephant. She is well intended. Cleaning the floors, changing the sheets, ironing the socks.
Her idea
Not even my mom, a housekeeper for over twenty years, irons socks. After it all sparked and shined it was time for affirmation. Like an accusation, every task had a line, every word had a weight, the prices were set. No negotiation. No care for inflation. Hands over the bill with no invitation. Love filled check handed delivered with a smile.
After all, was said and done. More like said and paid for. It was time for scheduling the next cleaning. Mornings were mine until shout time. At least three breaks while at work, to answer calls and text. After the work-family time of course. Cuddles and smiles just before shower and bed. Repeat forever, we are their child for life are we not? When will we be allowed to fly? Over the weekend?
My Frustration
Nope, more family time, more chores to do, more time wasted bonding. Laundry and sorts were done. Then off to bed, more for tomorrow said with a wave. Not before whispering obey and all will be fine. Dare to turn away and you'll be a disgrace in May. How dare you demand space and change. What is fair when you say here and now?
Well, mothers dearest, elephant, and friends, it's not that way or this way. Not my way or their way. Not now or tomorrow neither what was or what was wanted. It's not a tug a war, just war. Don't worry little miss all will be well soon enough. You see there is an answer to all of this a simple one too. Let's pack our logs, close our door, and yell through the wall because talking to each other is easier said than done.
Her side, my side, and the truth
What happened is to little consequence to the result. We had a mega fight and it was really hard to stay calm and collected. I wrote this after-after. I still refuse to hate her, disrespect her, and give up on us learning to communicate. That night was a tough battle and it wasn't a matter of winning or losing. It was a matter of getting through it. You know typically mothers and daughters.
She hates this nickname, but it's not going anywhere. Love always,
Hey Kubby,
I’ve learnt many things over my years of travelling and living a long way from my support network.
One of these things is how to deal with the distance, and the steps you can take to help maintain a healthy bond during this time.
If this distance is too far it can leave much time for rebuilding when the communication is poor.
In saying this, when the right amount of effort and commitment is given this can help keep both people content and happy when times are tough.
We all have challenges with our parents, friends, spouses, and siblings at times.
It’s how we defuse the situation, and the talking after that helps make the relationship stronger in most cases.
I haven’t seen my biological father in about 10 years unfortunately.
Sometimes I think if we didn’t have that big argument all that time ago, and he made different choices we would still be in touch.
Remeber the good times, and ensure we always write them down so they are forever stored on the blockchain.
#sometimeslifecanthrowaspannerintheworks
That is soo true. There are some relationships that aren't healthy to have around and others that are. The ones you want to stick it out with, like my mother, have struggle with communication. It takes so much for me to open up and talk through things with her, but when I do sometimes things really take a turn for the best. I agree with your#. #sometimeslifecanthrowaspannerintheworks #Sometimesyouneedawesomefriendslikeyou :)
Beautiful, heartfelt and quite relatable
Thank you so much. I can't believe you read my post as often as you do. Thank you for that!
You're welcome, its the beauty about selecting those I follow