The Unsound Practice of Comparing Yourself to Others

Mantra Monday

Yesterday, a close friend of mine shared his struggle of comparing himself to others. He looked at one friend and saw how that friend was more successful and seemed to have it all together because his business was larger and was made up of more employees. On the other hand, my friend looked at another friend of his and saw how that friend wasn't as efficient in finishing reno jobs as my friend was. My friend felt worse about himself when he looked at one person and felt better about himself when he looked at another.

The Ugly Truth

Truth is, we all do it. Even if we've learned the discipline of not comparing ourselves to others (which I can truthfully say I have), we can still easily fall into it if we are not on guard (which I can say I've done, as well). It's a natural feeling to compare yourself to another person and to want to be better than the person beside you.

False Standards

However, is it logical to compare ourselves to others? And what is the standard we're comparing ourselves to? I pointed out to my friend that they were two factors which determined that comparing himself to his friends was unsound and illogical.

1. The personality: Our personalities are a huge factor in how we make our decisions, and how we decide to execute them. Just as every person has a unique fingerprint so is everyone's personality and soul unique. Since no two people are exactly the same in every way, how is it fitting to compare yourself to anybody else?

2. The journey: Flowing out of differing personalities comes everyone's unique journey of how they got where they are. No two people have shared the exact same experiences (every detail of time, place, and people involved taken into consideration). If two people have shared similar experiences, their unique personalities dictate their interpretation of such events. No two journeys are exactly the same.

What Is the Sound Standard?

So if other people are false standards, why are we comparing ourselves to them? As I stated, it's natural. **But natural doesn't justify a lie. Each of us have been uniquely created as who we are. There is much to celebrate in that truth. Instead of feeling down about ourselves when we compare ourselves to others, we should embrace our differences and our different accomplishments. If you know you haven't been striving to do your best, then do better, attain your dream and not the dreams or expectations of others. Give more, love more, live more. Don't let your fears or disappointments hold you back.

Knowing that comparing ourselves to others doesn't produce any good result, celebrate the life you've been given by fearlessly marching forward.

Back to the standard we should compare ourselves to...there are wrong standards and there is a right standard. What is that standard? Without a true north, we are lost, trying to guide ourselves toward inferior directions which in the end cripple us of purpose and possibilities.

My standard is this: love God and love my neighbour as myself. Every thing I do, I hold to this standard to see whether it pales or shines in comparison to this standard. Do you have a standard? If so, what is your standard? And is your standard a dependable one against all odds?