I'm Ready To Admit It. I Hate Mother's Day.

in #life6 years ago (edited)

I haven't openly admitted my hatred of Mother's Day before even though the feeling has existed for several years now. My hatred of Mother's Day and Father's Day has slowly gained momentum in recent years. It's hard to want to celebrate a day all about your parents when your parents don't really deserve celebrating. As a daughter or son you feel guilty not getting your parents gifts for those days even though every other day of the year your parents constantly disappoint you.

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I saw my mom on Friday. I saw her last Friday too. She didn't say one nice thing to me either time. She came to my house and insulted my cleaning, insulted my husband, and was just unenjoyable to be around. The older she's gotten, the meaner she's gotten. It's weird but as soon as I gave birth to my daughter she became mean to me. We got along fine before the baby was born. She's told me I'm a bad mother numerous times and then says she did things better (even though she was a pretty sucky parent). She has this weird need to put me down as a parent so she can feel superior. At the age of 32 I am finally fed up with being verbally abused by a woman who feels a need to be mean to others and is selfish.

So why would I want to celebrate someone who constantly insults me?

I haven't talked to my father since December. We basically had a falling out because he started cheating on his 3rd wife and I called him out on it. I finally broke. A lifetime of disappointment and hurt and I finally said screw it and I cut him out of my life. I mourned him as if he died even though he's alive. In a weird way it's a relief to finally let go trying to have a relationship with a parent who was absent for most of my life who never put effort into having a relationship with me. When Father's Day comes around I will probably just feel sad and will ignore the day.

So what did I want for my own Mother's Day? I asked my husband to help me buy a climbing toy for our one year old daughter. We got her a plastic playhouse with a slide. She spends 80% of her day climbing furniture and is downright dangerous. I figure if I can redirect her to a toy made for climbing she will wear herself out climbing something safe instead of her climbing up shelves and bookcases. I want to spend Mother's Day with my daughter playing with her slide. I'll visit my own mother and give her some flowers then head home early so she doesn't ruin the day for me with her negativity.

Putting together this playhouse was hard but the little rabbit loves it.

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I've grown to see both Mother's Day and Father's Day as days celebrating disappointing parents. No one wants to celebrate a mother who is verbally abusive and an absent father. It's a shame. I dread both holidays. I'll be glad when tomorrow is over.

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Make it about you, instead. Now that you're a mother, this is your day! The playhouse looks fun. Watch out for possums, though. :-)

The playhouse is awesome. I had fun playing with my daughter in it. Not the greatest day of the year but at least it's over.

It's refreshing to hear someone say what they are really feeling....honestly. I have someone in my life who seems to enjoy belittling others, being hurtful, and the negativity affects everyone. Call it what it is.

It's a shame when people act that way. It just hurts people and the one doing the belittling isn't happy themselves.

I agree with @fotosdenada Everything I have read in your blogs over the past few weeks regarding your daughter has always been so positive and full of love @marxrab and I am sure you and your husband are wonderful parents. The negative, painful and difficult experiences you have endured has made you a very strong young lady and you are using them to your advantage. The family you have created with your husband is where your priority is and where it needs to stay from now on. When Mother’s Day arrives next year welcome it with open arms and make it all about you with pride and much satisfaction and celebrate your love and devotion to your daughter which will, over the coming years motivate her to show her appreciation of you when she is old enough and look forward to spoiling you in Mother’s Day. Good on you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. The fact that you are able to verbalise the anger is a true sign that deep healing has occurred and by doing so, you will continue to be set free of those things that would otherwise have held you hostage emotionally and defined you. That is clearly not the case. Your energies have been re-directed to where they need to be and your family will benefit greatly from your strength and wisdom. Hugs. 💖

Your daughter is beautiful and you are a wonderful mother. Don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. Believe in yourself. From the looks of it, you are building a safe environment for yourself and your family, and that is all that matters. Happy mother's day! xx

Thanks bear. I know I'm a good mother. I just get frustrated with my own. She's on some new pain medicines and they make her even more crazy than usual. She was a bit off her rocker on Mother's Day. Thankfully I got in and got out quick so I could go home and eat the dozen donuts my husband got me and play with my kid.

I think in life we should celebrate daily the people who are kind and love us unconditionally only. I don’t blame you for not feeling all warm inside for this day. I don’t get along with many members of my family as they don’t approve of my life. They still can’t get over that I was a teenage mom go figure.
I will wish YOU a happy mother’s day as it was a totally selfless and motherly thing you did choosing to get your little one a gift instead of something for yourself. I can relate.
Xo

I hope you had a good mother's day too. I really wanted to get my daughter a playhouse and they cost enough that I didn't want my husband to spend more money on me. She is so happy and wild in that thing that her smile is worth it.

That is all that matters💜💜💜💜💜

Celebrate those days in your own little family. Toxic parents should be avoided. They add nothing of value to your life and who needs the aggravation?

I am sorry are going through that with your mother. She probably is crying out attention since you had little rabbit. Yes dear you are a great mother!!! Don’t let nobody and negativity get to you and your family! You go girl!! Celebrate with your husband and little rabbit playing and having fun!
P/s: I love the flowers!

Thanks! I did have fun with little rabbit. She is so energetic. She had a great time.

I’m sorry about your parents. It sounds like you made the right choice in cutting your dad out, unfortunately. But on the bright side it also sounds like your daughter may end up being a rock climbing champion or a gynmnast, so that’s pretty cool?

I think she's going to be a rock climber. She's only 19 months old but she's an amazing climber. She's not afraid of anything. I'm glad we could get her a climbing tower.

Just remember you cant pick your parents. Its on them, not on you.

Very true. At least I'm not like either of them. Oh well... at least the day is over and things are back to normal.

Que bueno que seas honesta y digas lo que sientes y la realidad de tu vida, esto te ayuda mucho a sanar ese proceso tan difícil que has pasado a lo largo de tu vida, y estoy segura que no eres la única que piensa de esa manera como tu hay muchas y ya lo vivido no se puede cambiar. Ahora a dar lo mejor de ti para esa hermosa criatura amiga, dios los bendiga bendiciones y buen dia.Saludos

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