Living in the shoes of another person
I was reading the thoughts of a friend earlier in another Social Media platform and he was talking about how life ends up so differently from what we imagined it before.
The story was he knew this guy back in high school who had everything. Fame, fortune, women and was the total envy of everyone. He admitted that he wanted to be the guy as well at one point. A few years later the dad of the guy went bankrupt and life changed for him. He was accustomed to certain things and having that taken away from him proved too much.
He acted out, developed several bad habits and he fell with the bad bunch. In short, his life spiraled down.
My friend learned that he eventually went to prison and was in and out for a variety of crimes from drug possession, assault and robbery. He apparently turned to drugs to get away from the misery of his life and all the bad habits people get with it.
It was a cautionary tale of how life is a wheel. Sometimes you are on top and sometimes you would be in the bottom feeling crushed.
I was reading through the comments and people were saying that if it was them in that situation things would have not turned out like that. They would have gone on to make their lives better. In a way they were both pitying the person but also in a way feeling smug and superior.
Frankly I thought there total asses to think that way. Each person reacts to something differently. Their reaction would be based on their experiences, situations, beliefs and ability. No matter how similar some people are they would still have minute differences that would make them act in a different way.
Let us take an example then. A boiling pot of water, overflows and a person reaches out to remove it, burns his hand. The person can go to a sink and rinse it with cold water, another one might go to the bathroom and use toothpaste, another go find a first aid kit and apply it on the burnt area.
Three different responses to the same scenario but each one unique based on the experiences, training, knowledge and even financial status. Not everyone has burnt ointment in their home.
Maybe I am oversimplifying it. The thing is we can't really judge someone unless we lived their life and experienced all the same things, have the same beliefs, knowledge and attitude. We can't really say that if you were in that situation you would have done differently because your life is so different.
It is when I hear stories of slut-shaming, muggings and rape. People would often say they would have acted differently. In some sort of way they are victim blaming the person that they were not strong enough to stop it or do something else. They let themselves to be in that situation.
That is just my opinion though.
I do my best not to ever say: I would do something like this or that. I DON'T KNOW how I would react. And none of these people do! You might think you would do a completely different thing but when you get to that particular situation you might react in a way you would have never thought of.
But judging and feeling superior is such an easy thing to do and people slip easily into this habit.
That is purely true .most people like to blame people alot about their mistakes,f forgotten that everyone walks in his own way.
In Slovak we say that it is important to first clean your own playground before moving to another :) People like to be more interested in lives of others than their own and this doesn't do any good most of the times.
That is pretty interesting as we have a similar saying in our country where you clean your own backyard before you look at the backyard of others.
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Purely true
Stay blessed
I agree and it is human nature to slip into that and feel that we would do better in a situation.
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Love this article ,the way people define problem is from the school of thought they believe in.
People like me will never come to a victim of a problem to tell him/her that he did a mistake ,the only thing I can do is to is to advice so that the person can have a rethink about what he/she believe in.
Thanks for sharing this ,it really helped
That is a very good sentiment to have
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hey, @maverickinvictus.
I would say it's pretty hard to say with exactness how we would react under the same circumstances without living through them, but we can learn from other people's experiences and then try to avoid the same pitfalls should the situation occur.
From your own words, there will be those who will do things differently reacting to the same problem based on their personal training, education, experience and even financial status. That would mean that some of these folks would actually try to better their situation despite going bankrupt, while others would likely tread water to stay afloat and others would simply give up, falling into crime or ending it completely.
It seems like the main concern here is people's indirect judgment of another based on how they feel they would react. If we know we wouldn't do something the same way as someone else, are we automatically judging? Maybe, but also maybe not. If I say I wouldn't do it like that after you tell me how you're preparing your meal, is that a judgment, or a condemnation of your way? Or am I simply saying, this is how I do it?
I guess without reading the comments I can't really say one way or the other what these folks were doing or what they intended. Obviously, there were words said and attitudes extrapolated from them that caused you to see judgments in them. Can't really say much about them. And in reality, at least some of them were judging. As human beings we tend to do that. However, I think there could be someone who is sure enough in their self and their place that it's not as much a judgment as it's a state of fact. And maybe that doesn't have a place on a social media page because it doesn't add to the intent of the post. Who knows.
The last few you mention before closing are all tough things. I will contend that there are certain things that anyone can reasonably do to help mitigate bad things from happening. I think I've managed to do many of them myself, as well as others I know.
However, that doesn't mean things will never happen, or that those safeguards will always work. There are no guarantees in life. I'm sure the person walking alone at night in a secluded part of town isn't looking for anything other than a means by which to get to their destination. They do not deserve or want anything bad to happen to them. That never takes the risk away, though, just as walking with a group in broad daylight would prevent a car from jumping the curb.
But being aware of our surroundings, the circumstances that we find ourselves in and taking steps to avoid or buffer against such things should happen as much as possible. Otherwise, we're knowingly putting ourselves into danger and must be prepared to except the consequences, just like any other decision we make. That doesn't mean, again, we're asking for or wanting anything. It doesn't shift the blame to us from the one committing the act. But if you know there are snakes along the path you walk, and you've heard that a dozen other people have been bit, while only three weren't, do you take that path to shave off ten minutes, or do you go another route?
Humans by nature tend to judge other people. May it be their looks, wealth, talents and influence. It is in them to make assumptions based on what they know or not know.
I agree that knowing ourselves and our capabilities that it becomes a matter of fact for us but there comes a thin line of it being a matter of fact and feeling superior over someone.
Maybe in my own way I was also judging their comments in the light that they are coming off as superior.
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Well, as I think I remember saying, in your instance, you would know better what was said, how it was said, and who it was coming from. And sure, when we call people out about their judging, we could also be judging, too. I guess it just depends on how we go about it. If it's done in a way where it's not calling a specific person out, but saying, hey, I don't think this conversation is helpful or nice, maybe we can avoid coming off sounding judgmental ourselves. Who knows the true mind and hearts of others. Not me. I'm lucky to know mine on a regular basis. :)
I always like to think when you look into someone’s life that person is always trying to show the “best parts” for the world to see if they can help it.
Far too many say “I want to be like that person.” They forget all the hardship that it took to lead up to that person being who they are at that moment and all the stuff that could happen later in life.
Often times people always end up on these pedestals they never ask to be on. Any time one of those people fall short of the mark others are trying to hold to that person because they want to be just like them it’s like “how could they.” I think it’s great to take inspiration from something someone has done or achieved. However, you need to make it your own.
Otherwise, you are just chasing a shadow and when you get to meet the real thing casting that shadow you more than likely won’t be happy. As it’s not possible to live up to that thing so many imagen people’s lives to be like.
So many want to be rich or this or that. People forget all the sacrifices and time It took for someone to get there. All those sleepless nights of thinking tomorrow could be the day I finally give up and have to accept failure. So many are riding that edge of failure and successes it could tip anyway. People tend to only notice when someone has that success and that scale pointed that way.
I would much rather be my own person. I don’t ask for much out of this life. Just a chance to make my own opportunities in it. Try to be a somewhat decent person when I can be.
In today's age of connection and speed where every interaction could be a way for the poster to edit and fix what they show as their life as the best possible version of their life.
An Instagrammable life.
We often put people in pedestals. Those people that we try to emulate and worship without realizing all the hardwork and challenges they had to overcome.
I think that is the only thing we do just try to make it with the opportunities that we are given.
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One day you hot, the next day you not...
Thanks to @paradigmprospect, this post was resteemed and highlighted in today's edition of The Daily Sneak.
Thank you for your efforts to create quality content!
Thank you for the feature :)
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