Circus
The good lady came tripping into the house excitedly.
I had my first meeting with my new client! It went really well!
I looked up from feeding the little boom. My hair and the wall behind me was spattered with porridge. It made me look a little like Tintin.
That is fantastic news lady-o-mine I am double happy for you!
I beamed.
It was a proud moment and I truly couldn't be happier. My good lady wasn't even due to finish the witchy Doula course and had already bagged a client. How good was that?
The good lady came over and kissed me on the head as if I was a toad and she my princess.
I couldn't have done it without your support Daddy bear. It means so much to me. I am so thankful.
I made a face as if savouring one of the cat's farts again.
Och away lass. It's nothing to do with me, you have achieved this all by yourself. You know I support you in everything you do.
She tootled into the kitchen, singing a happy sea shanty. I finished cleaning the little boom and got him out of his high chair. She came back out.
I mean it. Your support has been amazing. Thank you. Really.
Aw shucks.
I wondered if this might be the right time to suggest she knocked out a tune on my gammon harmonica as a token of appreciation but thought that might be a little crass. She could play it later.
The good lady looked at the little boom in my arms.
And you little one, I hope you are happy when Mummy is away for the birth and don't give Daddy too much trouble.
I snorted.
Heck lady, I am more than capable of looking after the boom factory for a few hours.
The good lady stood, tilting her head to the side.
Well, a few hours is good but you know it's kinda rare for a birth to be so short. I mean it could be anything from 12-36 hours. In fact one of the Doula's in the group had a birth that went on for 5 days!! Can you imagine!
I looked at her and smiled a big dopey idiot smile. Could I imagine? What in the bloodiest of fucks was this? Had I been duped? She hadn't mentioned the possibility of her disappearing for days on end watching someone's arse prolapse before, had she? I racked my brains thinking.
She looked at me closely.
You did realise that right?
She said ever so slowly.
I struck my hips out in a gunshot pelvic thrust and plastered a cocky grin all over my face as if life was just one big long piece of piss for me.
Of course, I realised you daftie. Ha, it's no bother to me. I live for this shit.
She looked relieved.
You are a star.
She took the little guy and wandered off to do something Doula'y.
The grin slowly slid from my face. Hot fucking donkeys? She could be gone for days on end? That's pure shit.
I had better start practicing my juggling because I think I am going to have to run away and join the circus.
My God, man! Didn't you read the contract?? I told you to read the contract! You should've read the contract! The contract must've not slipped by without perusing the fine print! No wonder you were so cool with all the Red Tent nonesense!
Watching someone's ass prolapse is the doula's job!!
All the other stuff with helping and counseling is just fluff to cover up the dirty job they have. Heck, the only other job that's dirtier is those pariah who clean up sewage without any special equipment!
I think in a deep level I knew. I think I have always known! I hid it from myself for trains only known to my deep psyche whom I affectionately call indigo blue
Curse you indigo blue curse you!
You may curse indigo blue to the high heavens all you want, BRO-gurt, but the fact of the matter is that what was unseen cannot be unlived. You have unleashed dam water and it cannot be put back, no matter how many buckets you try to scoop up. Toast cannot be bread again.
I thought that. Really, I did.
The reason why is that I bought a breadmaker recently and when I loaded it up with toast it didn't make bread. I was gutted
See, that's the thing about negative or positive things, once they start, they snowball and gain momentum. It's an undeniable fact at this point. I feel you, BRO-isturizer. Really, I do. I just wish I could take some of your pain and process it to alleviate you.
I wish there was such a way. But the way is dark and nonesome.
OMG I am suffering PTSD just from the memories this brings back!!!! All I can say is Good Luck! I for one have never fully recovered!
Haha, I haven't either, I don't think I will!!
You really must have the endurance in taking care of little boom and the little lady while the good lady is away doing the Doula thingy. I wish you all the best for this endeavor! Upvoted!
I have the endurance but do they have the strength!
But ... Sugar Bear ...
The date of the birth coincides with the major server upgrade I need to do.
I'd better start interviewing nanny's ... just in case ...
Lol, nannies, now there is a thought!!
Haha. This was funny. babysitting a young baby is fun for about an hour tops. Then it gets more serious with nappies food ,sleep, bath time. Time to get some hired help me thinks. Maybe a cute baby sitter that the missus won't know about. Circus won't help as juggling takes too long to master.
I can juggle with the for about six seconds! Might be a bit of a shit show. Hired help could work!
You are going to have a shit show anyway so hired help it is.
I can't believe it never crossed my mind before
Lol. I have had too many shit shows, so am speaking from experience.
Experience is good. I sometimes astonish myself by the ability to fake things to it all goes past strut
Daddy will be busy with the everything while other babies are being popped out. You got this man, just get yourself a hazmat suit for those crazy dirty days. Maybe if you are lucky you will get to go watch. lol Not sure that would be luck. lol
A hazmat suit, perfect!!
That's me sorted ;0)
If your lady is gone for days you won't have to go anywhere to join the circus, it will likely be in your home haha!
Oh man, that is a very good point!!!
I concur!!!
Maybe the birth is fast and a babysitter is not necessary. Hahaha. positive mind!
That would be very nice!
@meesterboom This is good news, I think you should prepare the garden and place a pool in the back of your house, with Doula's salary you will not have to work and live the good life.
I wish you a wonderful weekend
Hehe oh yes. That my friend is the life for me!
Hmm, I read the title and thought this was going somewhere else. Not really sure where, but I didn't think it had anything to do with a possibility of you running away and joining a circus. Then again, when large responsibilities knock, nobody wants to answer the door. With great power comes a great need to shirk one's duties.
Sitting is the way to go. I like your phrasing, I will go with that!
Which phrasing exactly? "when large responsibilities knock, nobody wants to answer the door"? or perhaps "With great power comes a great need to shirk one's duties."? or maybe just "productive work and all that boring stuff? I'll pass!"? I said too many things to be sure. It's a common problem for me - saying too many things, not being unsure. Although that's pretty common as well.
Oh, and congrats on 30k SP.
Thank you! I was really pushing for that last bit to get to 30k!! It was my aim at the start of this year to get there by the end. I am quite proud.
"when large responsibilities knock, nobody wants to answer the door"
I liked both but this one in particular :0)
Sitting is the way
To go. I like your phrasing,
I will go with that!
- meesterboom
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.