Number
I waltzed into the house with the little boom, he was wide awake and happy to see his Mummy. I quickly passed him over and went into the kitchen humming a jaunty little tune.
The good lady came in after me.
You are in a cheery mood. You have a nice playdate with Daz?
Playdate, ha. It's not as if we do much beyond lurking in a cafe in a park waiting for the rain to stop but yes, it was nice.
The good lady laughed like a badger in a bucket.
Well, it seems to have put you in quite the good mood.
I smiled at her.
You know, you are right. I am in quite a good mood.
She smiled back.
I am glad to hear it. I am happy when you are happy. I take it you got a cake in the cafe. You love cake.
I chuckled a little, like a bank manager foreclosing on some poor sods mortgage.
I do love cake, I do! You will never guess what happened though?
The good lady started preparing a snack for the little boom.
Oh, something exciting? Do tell.
You know that blonde girl in the cafe, the one with the tiny bum?
The good lady rolled her eyes.
Yes, the tiny bum. Which you shouldn't be looking at!
She gave me a playful smack on the arm.
Well, she asked me for my phone number!
The good lady's smile wiped off her face as if her nethers were being waxed.
She what?
I know! I was as amazed as you are! Isn't it fantastic? Look at me, chick. I've still got it!
I gave my hips a sexy shimmy in the direction of the good lady whose face was looking decidedly thundery.
She did not... Did she?
She totally did lass!! I swear, hand on my heart! How awesome is that!
I did a little skip from foot to foot and started singing You Sexy Muthafucka at myself.
You didn't give her it though?
I stopped my sexy dance for a second and looked at her quizzically.
Of course, I gave her it, it would have been rude not to?
The good lady ground her teeth together.
Tell me, you are joking and you didn't give some young girl your phone number.
I screwed up my face in deep thought, like an elephant drinking red wine.
I am not joking lass, I kinda wish I were. I mean, what could I do? As I say, it would have been rude to say no.
The good lady was starting to go a bit red.
Besides, she has sexy hands.
I added as an afterthought.
She has sexy what? I'll give you sexy bloody hands...
Oooh, will you?
I raised my eyebrows up and down like cavorting caterpillars.
She thumped me on the arm, hard this time.
I can't believe you?! Why would you think it's ok to give your number to some slip of a girl?! How can you stand there and tell me this with such a bloody big grin on your face as if it is totally fine?!
I stepped up close and put my hands on her shoulders.
Lass, how else would they get in touch if I win the raffle?
Yowza, some men like to dance the tightrope of certain doom for entertainment. I prefer to keep my nudgies in one piece for awhile. Got a real schnuffle schnort outa this one.
Lol, it is a risky endeavour! :O)
The raffle for a partae in her pants!!
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And I'm coming!! ;O)
The Good Lady must really love you, to put up with such elaborate teasing.
I have been in quite the tease'y mood this week, no idea why!
Expect a doula mob any minute to rough you up a bit!
They are a tough bunch of cookies. I wouldn't fancy going up against them!!
Oh God you kill me!! Of course my own man has a tendency toward teasing in such a fashion- we good ladies should learn to turn the tables, remember 'two can play at that game', why don't we ever?? lol!
Hehe, its a fine teasing though isnt it! I think the good lady would find it dull if I were any other way.
Of course I will still be mumbling that when she ups and leaves me for the milkman, ROFL!
Ha, yes, it is a fine teasing- I think this was hilarious since it wasn't happening to me haha!! It's true though, I would find him dull, it's part of his charm-- and yours!
Charmers rawk!! That's for sure!!
You big sex stud you. We all still have it hidden away for times that count lol.
It's there, under the tarpaulin, just waiting for a polish!! ;0)
Tarps are heavy you need quick access. You Scots wear a kilt for a reason .
Hhahahahahah, oh yes indeed we do! Its getting into winter though, chilly! lol
Oooo you little wind up merchant you! Dicing with death there! Haha sexy hands indeed! That won't be forgotten, trust me! You will find those sexy hands thrown at you in the future... and not in a good way lol 😂😂
I am suspecting much the same thing!!
The good lady thought you are being cheeky and wanted another relationship to bloom other than her. This would have caused a catastrophe in the house! Haha! Upvoted!
Hehe, it would have been a disaster!
LOL LOL LOL loved how you egged her on. You knew exactly what you were doing to get a rise out of her. hehehehe hilarious! good job man, good job!
A man has to try! Lol
lol indeed!
@meesterboom you are lucky dear friend, the good lady is very tolerant, my lady could not bear even half of what you do to the good lady
I wish you a great day
It always helps to push them boundaries a little! ;0)
If someone said the tiny bum which I shouldn't be looking at , I'll say "What? then I should be looking at bigger bum?"
You have a very good point! I shall remember that for next time hehe
Yay:-)